MELODRAMA MAMA

Long, Long Ago in a Kitchen Far, Far Away...

2011-11-01T07:56:00.004-04:00

My 12 year old son is laughing his butt of early this Tuesday morning.

Why?

Because he found out that that I am from 'olden times'.

What would qualify me for such an advanced age?

Well, I was telling him a story which involved the phrase "she was cutting carrots".

I got no further in the story because N suddenly howled with laughter "You had to actually cut carrots? Like you got a big carrot and had to actually cut it yourself? Man, you are from olden times!"

I realize that there are many modern conveniences utilized today that did not exist back when I was younger but I usually have considered these generational earmarks as technology based instead of vegetable based.

Like, I remember when we got our first TV with a remote. My family shared ONE PHONE LINE, and the phone was connected to the wall with a long cord. I listed to music on a boom box. I had to open the car door with a key instead of a button.

Now I must add the cutting of carrots to that list.

Because that is the way we did things long, long ago.

Good thing I bought some chocolate...

2011-08-13T22:33:00.006-04:00

Woman carefully scrutinizes grocery add to find deals.

Woman carefully compares sale prices to coupons.

Woman organizes coupons by grocery department.

Woman drives to distant grocery store for 'double-coupon day'.

Once inside the store Woman is annoyed to discover she can not find her coupons.

After searching the car Woman drives home because Harris Teeter is to dang expensive without coupons.

Coupons are NOT on kitchen table where Woman expected them to be.

Woman looks through the car again and finds coupons which had fallen on side of dang passenger seat.

Woman drives back to distant grocery store - wishing that she did not drop her iphone in the Pacific Ocean because now she has a bottom of the line cheap-o phone which does not double as an ipod - and frankly, listening to some of her favorite tunes right now would be a really great way to alleviate some of the annoyance and stress over the whole coupon-athon.

Woman fills grocery cart based on carefully selected sale items which match coupons - for maximum savings.

At check-out Woman must fill out paperwork for new Harris Teeter card because she apparently lost her original and can not remember which dang phone number she originally used.

Woman was once a checker in a grocery store and HATED coupon shoppers because they were always a pain in the.....neck. But heck, woman now lives in one of the most expensive areas of the United States and has three kids so she will ignore the annoyance of the checker.

Woman has to split her order into two separate purchases because H.T. only allows 20 coupons per purchase.

Woman will ignore the increased annoyance of the checker because for crying-out-loud she waited until nearly 10:00 at night to go shopping so that there would not be any long lines behind her.

Woman takes groceries to car.

And.........................Woman's keys are not in her purse.

With elevated heart rate, Woman hauls loaded grocery cart back into store where Night Manager informs her that keys have NOT been turned in.

Woman retraces steps through grocery store and at last finds keys sitting on the counter of the bleep-bleepity-bleeping check stand.

Woman drives home thinking about blank-blankity-blanking iphone.

Woman puts groceries away and pours herself a tall glass of Diet. Dr. Pepper.

And she eats a bag of $4.00 Pretzel M&M's that she purchased for $1.25.....thank you very much.

*M&M's were shared with the three kids.

The Yin and Yang of Mr. Z

2011-06-19T22:12:00.002-04:00

At 7 years old, Mr. Z is either sappy sweet or incredibly insensitive.

With me - he is usually the first. What can I say? The kid loves me - in a crazy way. He can't get enough of the hand holding, snuggling, hugging, etc. He is a bit territorial with my affection - when The Hub and I demonstrate a public display of affection, Mr. Z comes running and forcefully inserts himself in the middle of the parental embrace.

In fact, last night Mr. Z was around the corner from where we were snuggling on the sectional. Yelling "I hear hugging!" he ran around the corner and joined us as a third spoon.

Sometimes it is a bit over the top but 99% of the time it melts my heart. Tonight while I was tucking him into bed he gave me a big smooch on the lips and I asked:

"Are you ever going to be too old to kiss me goodnight?"

He gave me a tight squeeze while he answered.

"Well - maybe when I am 12...no 15...no 16, 17, 18 or 19 or 20.... Okay - how about 25??? But I am not going to worry about that now because it is a REALLY long time away."

But remember - the boy can also be incredibly insensitive.

Yesterday was Father's Day. As we sat down to dinner I asked the kids to go around the table and tell The Hub their favorite thing about him.

Mr. Z took the lead:

"Ok - me first. The very best thing about Dad is that he is really good at grilling meat. And NOW I will tell you the worst thing about him...."

So there it is, the Yin and Yang of a complicated boy.

And in case anyone is wondering - the worst thing about The Hub - (according to Mr. Z) is that he sometimes yells.

And thank goodness for that because Heaven knows that I can not be the only one doing the yelling around here.

Modern Interpretation

2010-12-09T20:03:00.004-05:00

Mr. Z just asked me to tell him the story of 'the little girl who sits on a stool eating her cottage cheese'.

At first I thought that I had failed in teaching my kids Nursery Rhymes but as it turns out a 'tuffet' is a short stool...and curds and whey actually is cottage cheese.

So - I give you an updated telling of 'Little Miss Muffet' (authored by Mr. Z)

A little girl sat on a stool eating some cottage cheese.
Then a spider came and scared her.

Less lyrical but more concise and less confusing.

I am not sure why this topic is worthy of a timeless poem know by most all children.

Except for mine.

Confusion

2010-11-21T08:53:00.003-05:00

Miss A: Mom - where do we keep the whiskey?
Me: Well......assuming we had any whiskey why would you want to know?
Miss A: Because I really need it!
Me: I am pretty sure that you are confused about something.
Miss A: No - I just need the whiskey!
Me: What are you talking about?
Miss A: I am talking about that thing you use to mix stuff - I am making muffins!
Me: Do you mean a WHISK?
Miss A: Yes! A whisk! Where do we keep the whisk?

Side Note: Miss A has a thing for whiskey - it is to her credit that in place of the term 'skiwampus' we use the term 'whiskeywampus'.

Second Side Note: Due to our inherent and consistent confusion is probably a good thing that we don't drink.

The Daily Grind

2010-11-05T08:23:00.007-04:00

Alarm clock rings.

Fists start beating the bed.

"I can't take it anymore! Every day I have to do the same thing over and over again! I am sick of this! Sick, sick, sick of this! I need a break from all of this!"

Yeah - first grade can be pretty rough.

But it is Friday and Mr. Z can have a break tomorrow.

In the mean time - I think a stiff glass of chocolate milk with his breakfast will help him make through the day.

Note to Self:

2010-10-23T19:55:00.004-04:00

When wrapping gifts for a child's birthday be sure to purchase gift wrap so you don't have to use last years Christmas supplies.

Also, get some scotch tape so you won't have to rip of small pieces of packing tape to affix the wrap.

And - keep track of your scissors so you don't have to use dull kitchen shears.

That is all.

Apparently I need to keep my neurosis to myself

2010-09-30T07:46:00.007-04:00

When Miss A started kindergarten (2003) she was a incredibly shy. I was ultra worried about her ability to mesh with the other kids and because she did not know anyone in her class I really wanted her to make some cute little friends. Every day after school I would quiz her on who she played with at recess and every day she would give the the exact same answer in her cute scratchy little voice:

"I played with just myself"

My most sweet and beautiful little baby was playing all by herself! I was broken-hearted and haunted by memories of middle school when I felt left out.

One day after school (after two weeks of asking her who she played with at recess and grilling her on social strategies) she burst into tears when I began my line of questioning.

I ached for her - poor little thing - brought to tears by her solitary play at recess...

I told her that it was okay because everyone feels lonely sometimes...

Which is when she said: "It's not lonely at school. Lonely is when you are ALL ALONE. There are lots of kids at recess all the time."

So why was she crying?

Apparently because she was so worried about making ME sad when I vicariously stressed out over the kindergarten social scene.

Lesson learned - and before long Miss A had a cute little friend who lived up the street (and we were 20-somethings living in California at the time so by 'street' I mean row of town houses).

Now that Miss A is 12 she is actually experiencing the real social drama of being in middle school. And guess what?

I am still powerless to do anything.

And all that post-traumatic-middle school-drama is back in full swing.

All I can do is be there for her and give some oh-so-helpful social strategies which are met by theatrical eye-rolls and expressive sighs.

Let me just impart this bit of wisdom that my years of experience and knowledge have helped me to understand:

1. girls are mean
2. boys are dumb

Man, I miss kindergarten!

Apparently I will not have violent mood swings after school starts

2010-08-17T09:38:00.007-04:00

This morning I was awakened by the sound of raucous fighting in the kitchen.

What was so important that Mr. N and Mr. Z were near blows?

Cereal Dust.

You know - The dusty remains in the bottom of the box? These powdered fragments of breakfast food are apparently a valuable commodity in this household - one for which both of my boys are willing to draw blood.

I was mildly annoyed (read: trying not to draw blood myself at being wakened over such a trivial thing) until Mr. N magically changed my mood by saying:

"Mom - my ear hurts. Can I have an asspill"?

I have never gone from anger to hilarity in a split second before but I was on the floor laughing with tears running out of my eyes while I choked out:

"You mean an asPIRIN"?

Yeah - that was what he meant.

And I will have a special name for aspirin for the rest of time.

Just like we have a special name for chapstick.

Because Mr. N used to call that.....asskick.

Note to Self:

2010-07-24T23:22:00.007-04:00

You must label similarly sized/colored leftovers because if you are not observant in the morning your blueberry/peach smoothie will be a black bean/peach smoothie. And it will be disgusting.

Apparently I need to learn more about Udders

2010-07-16T23:30:00.011-04:00

Last spring - the Kindergartners went on a field trip to a Farm. The day of the trip Mr. Z and I were waiting for the bus when.....

Me: Hey Z, are you excited to go to the farm?
Mr. Z: Yes - I am super excited. I have lots of questions for the farmers.
Me: Really? Like what.
Mr. Z: I have lots of questions about udders.
Me: What? Like on a cow? What questions about udders do you have?
Mr.Z: I want to know how come cows have so many tits.
Me: You mean TEATS? They are called TEATS, not tits....
Mr.Z: Oh. Well I am going to ask the farmers about those udders and ti...teats.

(the bus arrives and Mr. Z quickly hugs me and hastens towards the open door)

Me: (yelling) Remember...they are TEATS, like TREATS. Think about TREATS before you ask any questions. TREEEEATS!

I would be embarrassed but how else is the kid going to learn about TEATS? Certainly not by ignoring burning udder questions like the majority of the suburban population.

So the next time you are visiting a farm - try to expand your grasp of essential bovine trivia by asking the farmer about female cow parts.

Remember - there are no stupid questions. Just stupid Mom's (who lack basic udder knowledge) waiting anxiously at home to find out if their offspring will be kicked out of kindergarten for sporting an inappropriate vocabulary.

Apparently I should do a head count each time I get in the car...

2010-05-28T14:00:00.009-04:00

Sometimes it is easy to forget things when you are a busy mom of 3.

Like you could forget about your 5th graders DARE graduation...your kids piano lessons...boy scouts...etc.

You could also forget to take your child home with you when you leave the gym.

You could take a shower at home, get dressed, and then - 45 minutes later - you could frantically drive back to the gym barefooted with a towel on your head to retrieve said child.

Now if your past is marred by such an event it is probably not a good idea to use the 'I am leaving now' tactic when trying to hurry a child when it is time to go home from the park.

You know when you say "Well - goodbye, I am leaving now" to an offspring who won't get off the swings? Your plan is not to actually leave the child but to make them THINK that they will be left behind if they don't hurry.

To terrify a child with the threat of abandonment is a perfectly acceptable form of eliciting cooperation - IF - you have not actually left that child somewhere in the first place.

Because if you did leave your child at the gym day care, and his six year old eyes watched you from the window as you climbed into your car and drove away it could cause a significant amount of emotional trauma.

Perhaps the traumatic effects of being abandoned will not manifest themselves at first. Then, several weeks later when you are trying to leave the park and you utter the ill-fated phrase: "Well - goodbye, I am leaving now" you will know the extreme extent of emotional damage that you created in the psyche of the small boy.

Upon hearing your declaration of abandonment and seeing you retreat towards the family car the boy will probably utter a shrill scream and then slump to the ground sobbing.

When you roll your eyes, turn back to physically retrieve him and explain that you would never really leave him anywhere he will look at you with hurt, tear filled eyes and say:

"Maybe I would believe you if you didn't already leave me at the gym. (Sniff-sob). At least at the gym a grown-up was watching me. Nobody will take care of me when you leave me at the park."

And then on the drive home you will have to guiltily address tear-full issues such as:

"I don't think Mom's are supposed to leave kids places"...

"I don't think Drew's Mom ever left him anywhere"...

"I don't think Matthew's Mom ever left him anywhere"...

"I don't think Ben's Mom ever left him anywhere"...

"I don't think Jack's Mom ever left him anywhere"...

And so on...

So - in order to raise kids who will believe that 'Mom-Will-Always-Be-There-For-Me' you really should try your best not to leave them at the gym.

Yeah.

Apparently I have a Red Thumb

2010-05-05T12:52:00.004-04:00

I have the opposite of a green thumb. Based the opposites of the color wheel this means that I have a red thumb - and it is red with the blood of every potted thing that I have killed. Plants need only to absorb my exhaled carbon dioxide and shortly thereafter they wither and die.

This is a well known fact among the members of my family which is why Mr.Z walked in the door holding a cup with a bean sprout which he had cultivated in Kindergarten and said: "Do you want me to just throw this away now? Or should we wait for it to die?"

He decided to keep it. It did not survive.

I can now add a bean sprout to my growing list of victims.

WA-HA-HA-HA-HA! (evil laughter)

Apparently some of us are getting older...

2010-04-28T08:09:00.008-04:00

Of course I am still incredibly young and vibrant but my daughter is aging. She will be 12 next month and I have been mentally preparing myself to enter the phase of life where I have a child who is in the Young Women's Program at church.

Though I am still incredibly young and vibrant it seems weird that I have arrived at this stage. Because I have a tendency to freak-out I have tried to stave emotional imbalance by reminders and personal awareness of the impending Young Women's experience.

I am thrilled that Miss 'A' will be able to experience so many new things and have so many wonderful women influence her life.

I am less thrilled that this marks the beginning of my children having activities in the evening. I love spending time with them before bed and I know that as they are aging (though I am still incredibly young and vibrant) this type of family time will be less and less frequent.

I was thrown for a loop yesterday when we discovered that though Miss 'A' still has one more month till she is officially a part of this amazing program she needed to attend an activity to certify for Girls Camp this summer.

I drove her to the church right at the time we should have been sitting down to play a game or watch 'America's Funniest Home Videos'. She was nervous but excited but I was mentally unprepared for this momentous event.

On the first day of middle school (while all the kids in the neighborhood walked to the bus by themselves for the first time) my baby wanted me to walk with her. She even held my hand. When we were in view of the kids waiting for the bus I asked if she wanted me to stay with her or go home - she didn't answer but clung to my hand more tightly, pulling me to the bus stop where I waited with her friends. She didn't let go of my hand until it was her turn to get on the bus.

Last night, I tried to hold her hand while we were walking into the church. She sweetly smiled at me as she pulled her hand away. When we got inside I could tell that she was anxious so I asked if she wanted me to stay with her until she found someone that she knew. She told me that she was okay, and still smiling sweetly she walked off.

And so it begins. Though I am still young and vibrant I have entered the phase of life where my children will have evening activities. The phase of life where that time spent together before bed will come to an end. The phase of life where my kids will not need me quite so much anymore. Sniff.

They will be strong - and independent, which is what every young and vibrant Mother wants.

I would just like to make this one request: could someone (I don't care who) provide me with more than a few hours warning so that I can plan my young and vibrant freak-out accordingly?

Please and Thank You.

Apparently I am accident prone (part 2)...

2010-04-26T11:42:00.010-04:00

Mom walks down steps.

Mom texts whilst walking down said steps.

Small object waits on bottom step.

Mom steps on small object.

Mom rolls ankle.

Mom's favorite flip flop is broken.

Mom limps to sofa.

Mom lays on sofa sweating profusely wondering if pain from rolled ankle is worse than child birth.

Mom's ankle looks like golf ball.

11 year old daughter mocks Mom for texting at inappropriate time.

Daughter mocks Mom for lack of grace.

Daughter should go play with barbies.

Apparently I will be calling Grandma if I need plumbing help...

2010-04-09T10:35:00.010-04:00

Last week was a much anticipated spring break. It was chock full of hours spent on the road as my Mom and I took the kids to Williamsburg, the Hub and I went to Maryland's Eastern Shore, then the Hub and I took the kids back to Williamsburg for a second round of fun.

What does this have to do with dismembered insects and reptiles? (I will get to the Grandma with the pipe cutter later).

Well - last fall the fam-damily was on a night walk with flash lights. As we wound our way through the paved trails the kids kept a close watch for animal life. Mr.N who has a particularly keen eye was bringing up the tail end of our party when he let out a horrific scream. Running back to see what was wrong we found Mr.N kneeling on the ground shinning his light on a small, writhing, injured snake. It was nearly-headless, probably because one of us had unknowingly stepped on it as we walked by. Mr.N cried for the poor snake - for two days.

This brings us to the wingless fly. The kids were in the car - 'patiently' waiting for me and Mom to get our spring break behinds on the road. Through the opened back of our trusty Honda Pilot an unsuspecting fly entered the vehicle eliciting screams from Mr.Z who has a strong fear for all winged things that buzz. (Likely born from an incident involving thigh-high casts and the inability to escape a large bee). Trying to save his brother from the terrifying fly, Mr.N selflessly pulled the baseball hat from his head and gave the fly a mighty swat in the direction of an open door saving Mr.Z from said insect. Mr.N then got out of the car to inspect the fly which was squirming on the driveway.

Now - I understand Mr.N's grief over the nearly-headless snake. I can appreciate that to a 10 year old boy a snake is a lovable thing - but to shed tears over a wingless fly? Let's just say the boy has a strangely tender heart...and leave it at that.

The remainder of spring break was dismemberment-free. But with his knack for entertaining with unusual commentary, Mr.Z provided us with several memorable scenarios.

1. While at Colonial Williamsburg we paid a visit to Patrick Henry. As he answered a bevy of questions from curious and educated visitors Mr.Z raised a hand and asked: "When you said 'give me liberty or give me death - which one did they give you"?

2. While at Busch Gardens we visited the animal park and were listening to a ranger who - according to his name tag was called Gii. Gii was telling us about a smallish bird when Mr.Z again raised his hand and asked "If you were going to draw this bird, which part would you draw first"?

The answer according to Gii? The feet. Obviously.

Incidentally, Miss.A got a lot of practice in with her eye rolling at the antics of her brothers as all good nearly-12-year-old girls should.

As for Grandma and the pipe cutters: she usually brings a smallish bag when traveling to avoid having to wait at baggage claim. However, 0n this particular trip she had to check her bag because airport security would not let her bring a pipe cutter in her carry on.

How many Grandma's bring a pipe cutter when they come to visit their grandkids? I am going to venture a guess and say 'one'. And she truly is an awesome Grandma because without those pipe cutter we could not have made PVC marshmallow shooters or irrigation tube hula hoops.

Incidentally (again), I was going to make a few more marshmallow guns after Grandma left so I asked my neighbor (who is a plumber) if I could borrow his pipe cutter. He pulled one out of his ginormous tool box in his 'Mr. Plumber' truck for me to use. And guess what?

Grandma's pipe cutter kicked the plumber's pipe cutter's butt.

Which made me think:

If I were going to draw a Grandma with a truly awesome pipe cutter which part I would draw first?

Maybe I need to take a quick trip to Busch Gardens to ask Gii.

Apparently the Easter Bunny sparkles...

2010-04-04T08:53:00.003-04:00

You remember Mr.Z? The kid who had trouble believing in Santa this past December because the red clad, jolly, rotund man at the mall had gold zippers on his boots? Well - it seems that the Easter Bunny is subject to no such scrutiny.

Me: Hey - Mr. Z?

Z: What?

Me: Do you believe in the Easter Bunny?

Z: (thoughtful) Hmmmm. A giant bunny who lays plastic eggs filled with candy? Hmmmm................(with strong conviction) Yep! I believe in him! You know when he hops he leaves sparkly stuff on the ground! That sure is cool!

I don't know who decided that a candy bearing rabbit was a good way to celebrate the birth of Christ, but I would like to thank them. My kids are getting too old too fast and all too soon our holidays will lack the sweet innocence of childhood.

Here is to the Easter Bunny in all of his plastic egg laying, sugar-ific, sparkly glory.

Deep thoughts about Olympic Ice Dancing.

2010-02-25T19:20:00.006-05:00

Mr. Z:

I bet they have lots of bandages at practice.
Maybe that girl is friends with swans.

Mr. N:
Boy - in skating you see a lot of girls underwear

Apparently the mall Santa needs to Up his Game...

2009-12-14T13:07:00.006-05:00

Mr. Z is a thinker. He possesses wisdom and understanding far beyond his six years that is humorous at times and alarming at others.

For the past few months he has been trying to rationalize the existence of Santa. He has a strong opinion that magic is not real - which has caused him to doubt - but wanting so badly to believe he came to the dubious conclusion that "the Christmas kind of magic is real but all the other magic stuff is made up by grown-up's who are trying to trick kids."

It kind of reminds me of the time a certain cousin told Miss 'A' that the Easter Bunny, Tooth Fairy and Santa were not real. Later, my daughter told me "I kind figured that it was true about the Easter Bunny and Tooth Fairy but why would Jessica lie about Santa"?

Today at the Mall Mr. Z begged me to stop and see Santa. He had changed his mind from wanting a crayon maker to "wanting 2 pet frogs more than anything in the world". (Incidentally I already have the frogs because I knew he would want them - they have been living in my closet since Thanksgiving due to a shipping miscalculation on my part).

While standing in line Mr. Z evaluated the man in the red suit.

He started with the beard - which passed scrutiny because it looked quite real. Unfortunately this Santa did not look plump enough to satisfy my son. Plus, this Santa had gold zippers on his boots which Mr. 'Z' told me was entirely innacurate. (Apparently there are no zippers on authentic Santa boots - just in case you want perform an inspection at your local mall).

But - willing to give him a chance - my boy told me that he was just going to ask 'that guy' if he was the real Santa.

When we got to the front of the line Mr. Z climbed onto Santa's lap.

Santa: Hello - what is your name?
Mr. Z: (rolls eyes) That's it. Mom - this guy doesn't even know my name I told you he wasn't fat enough.

He hopped of the surprised Santa's lap grabbed a sucker from a big bin (without waiting for it to be offered) and kind of shook it at me.

Mr. Z: See - he doesn't even have candy canes. Sheesh! Let's go!

And so we did.

Good thing I didn't pay for an overpriced picture of my suspicious, attitudinal, grabby six year old rolling his eyes at a sucker-bearing, gaunt Santa with gold zippers on his boots.

Sheesh!

Apparently I need to do the laundry...

2009-11-12T10:19:00.005-05:00

An ingenuitive boy will substitue swimwear for underwear when Mom has been to sick to keep up on the laundry.

And indeed, Mr. Z is ingenuitive.

I seem to have kicked the Killer Cold From XXXX -but October -the WHOLE feverish month of October- was another story.

I think that Mom's should be automatically immune to any illness but ESPECIALLY to a killer cold that lasts for FOUR weeks! One morning, when I was feeling particularly crappy, Mr. N gave me a quick hug on his way out the door to catch the bus and said:

"I hope you don't have the swine flu and die! Bye"!

If that is not love, I don't know what is.

Miss A was very diligent for the whole month to keep a careful distance from me to avoid over- exposure to any of my persistent germs. I have no idea how much antibacterial hand gel she used but I did notice that my rather large supply (I stocked up when there was a bunch on sale) has been depleted.

Apparently I am accident prone...

2009-11-10T13:05:00.008-05:00

Boy rides scooter to school

Mom jogs.

Mom must take scooter home.

Mom rides scooter.

Mom assumes instantaneous acquisition of scootering prowess.

Mom neglects to brake before going over bridge.

Mom is airborne.

Mom is splayed out on bridge.

Scooter lands on Mom.

Mom limps home carrying scooter.

Mom applies direct pressure to gash on leg.

Mom now has scraped and bruised leg - not unlike said boy.

Apparently male walrus' are gross...

2009-08-30T22:03:00.005-04:00

This morning Mr. Z gave me cause to think with some deep (and poignant) five year old thoughts.

He said:

"You know Mom, nobody wishes to be a male walrus."

I am fairly certain that this assessment regarding the hopes and dreams of humanity was inspired by a maritime program on animal planet this morning. And you know what? I can not fault his logic. In fact, I believe that Mr. Z's insights could potentially help any of us deal with future trials.

Like when I am having a bad day I can say to myself - "Well, Wendy - at least you are not a male walrus..... ."

And then I will probably feel a bit better cause let's face it, Mr. Z is right - nobody wishes for that!

Apparently I am half way to seventy...

2009-08-08T13:05:00.006-04:00

I just read a great blog post by one of my long-lost friends who is now part of my on-line social network (thank you Facebook). It was about growing older and realizing - with some dismay - that we have reached the 'adult' phase of life. This hit a strong cord with me because over the past few months I have been thinking a lot about aging and growing older.

I turned 35 in January and this has been the first year that I have really started to feel the age thing setting in. I have noticed the start of wrinkles, changes in skin elasticity, changes in metabolism, and then there was the day that I heard a relatively newlywed girl at church describe me to another person as "the lady with the dark short hair".

The Lady?

Who would I call a lady? If it were someone around my same age I would call her a 'girl'. A lady would certainly be someone considerably older. It was then that I was forced to face the fact that to these younger 'adults', I was considerably older.

The thing is, I don't feel old - at all! In fact, sometimes I look at my life and think - what happened? I still feel like a twenty something person. How did I get from there to a Mom whose baby is starting Kindergarten, whose oldest child is starting middle school, and who has been married for thirteen years???? That is a longer period of time than I spent in the public school system! Why does it seem that time passes us by more and more quickly the older we get?

As I have been evaluating all of these things I came across a statement made by one of my neighbors (again, thank you Facebook) who is a few years older than me. She said "I firmly believe that my best years are ahead of me."

Her comment has made me think a lot because I have never considered this possibility. It is not that I sit around complaining that my best years have past - but so often I get sucked into the 'daily grind'. I go about doing the things that I am supposed to do. Usually I accomplish them in an acceptable range of 'the best of my ability' and then I go to bed, only to get up and do it again. What I often fail to appreciate is that with my daily struggles comes a lot of growth.

My grandmother, who is in her nineties frequently tells me "you learn how to live when you are ready to die". Though this is a bit dramatic, I absolutely agree. The more experience that we achieve in life, the greater our knowledge base becomes. The greater our knowledge base becomes, the more ability we have to fully understand situations that we have to face. With aging comes the invaluable knowledge of how to live.

I can clearly see the benefits of aging when I look back at my 25 year old self. I will admit - I was inexperienced, unaware, and often kind of dumb. I understand myself, my situations, and others so much more now - and it is only through growing older, and experiencing the trials that have accompanied this process that a better version of myself has been able to emerge.

My grandmother also tells me that one of her favorite decades was her 70's. She didn't worry about body image because she was 'supposed to look kind of lumpy'. Her hair was easy to do because she went with the 'old lady' curl and set, which was what worked best anyway. She quit worrying about make up because she 'was supposed to look like an old lady for crying out loud'. She didn't need to shop for new clothes because she had decades worth of things and the older stuff was back in style. Her health was still reasonably good so she started taking some college classes and she traveled.

So here I am at 35 - which my daughter so graciously pointed out is, in fact, half-way to seventy. Instead of making me feel old - I think this is kind of inspiring. I have plenty of time to make plans for some fun stuff in the year 2044, and until then - I will keep on learning how to live.

Apparently I have Lug Noids...

2009-08-01T13:42:00.004-04:00

I recently told Mr. N and Miss A about the importance of stretching before swimming their heat at a meet. We talked about how to stretch the different muscles and what they were called. When we got to our quadriceps Mr. N said:

"Oh! I always thought those were my lug noids!"

Perhaps we will discount physical trainer or doctor as potential professions!

Apparently we went to Utah...

2009-07-26T22:00:00.007-04:00

Here are the highlights from our Utah/California Vacation:

The hubby, his parents and kids went camping in Moab. I stayed in SLC to help with wedding things, and missed the Southern Utah adventures.
My main job for the wedding was to over-see the making of 200 cookies.
Matt and the kids drove back from Moab to Heber where I picked them up so we could all drive to Logan for the wedding. Heather was beautiful and we all had a great time!

After a night and a day in Logan we drove back to SLC for a night and headed to California the next morning with a lay-over in Vegas. We had celebrated Mr. N's birthday before we left but it turned out that we went to Disneyland on his actual b-day. It was quite a celebration!
One of our traditions is to get Balboa Bars on Balboa Island in Newport Beach. We are always a spectacle with all of the kids lined up on a bench enjoying their treats. Last year we were photographed for the travel channel.

We like to go to a couple of different beaches. Newport Beach is fun for the boardwalk and shops, Corona Del Mar has great sand and the best bathrooms but the most fun is Crystal Cove which is pictured below. There are lots of tide pools where the kids find all sorts of things including crabs and starfish (and did I mention the shake shack?).

It was a BUSY week but tons of fun. I miss spending time with my family but I am SO glad that we have such a good time together. As the Hub would say "they are the awesomost"!

Apparently my son does not care for my cooking...

2009-07-10T22:02:00.006-04:00

This afternoon whilst making grilled sandwiches for lunch I was ignoring Mr. Z. The reason for this purposeful disregard was that he was being ultra-high-maintenance concerning his lunch request. In case anyone thinks I was exhibiting negligence in my mothering this is what was being asked of me:

"I want a peanut butter sandwich, nothing grilled. But I do want some ham slices on the side. And I want them rolled up and stuck with a tooth pick. And I want an orange that you peel. Don't just start it and put in on my plate - you peel the whole thing. And I want two slices of apples. WAIT! I actually want peanut butter on my two apples and I DO want a grilled sandwich. The kind with lines on it (panini) and I want the lines to be criss-crossed, not just going one way but I still want my ham on the side and just cheese in the sandwich.........."

Before long Mr. Z realized that I was not paying attention to his lunch order at which point he exclaimed in frustration:

"Are you paying attention to me or are you just wasting my time?"

Sounds like my work is cut out for me. Both in the kitchen and in the child rearing department.

Apparently I went to London...

2009-07-08T09:28:00.015-04:00

Over the past two years my oh-so-insightful husband has repeatedly told me to update my passport - just in case I had a last minute chance to travel with him. I honestly had every intention of doing as he requested, but..................there were so many other things of immediate import which had to be done that my passport has lain dormant in the file drawer.

FORTUNATELY, A few weeks ago the Hub called me on a Monday morning and asked if I would like to go to London with him. Of course, the answer was an unequivocal 'YES'.

UNFORTUNATELY he was leaving on Wednesday and I would need to depart on Sunday - BUT MY PASSPORT WAS EXPIRED!!!

FORTUNATELY as a man 'in the know', my hub was able to figure out how I could get my passport updated overnight, which is not possible in many locations but luckily residents in the vicinity of Washington D.C. have this capability. And so, within 24 hours I was able to get a passport and a babysitter (thank you Courtney) who was recently home from BYU.

UNFORTUNATELY, 15 minutes before I was supposed to leave for the airport, Mr. Z tripped on his way up the stairs. I really wanted to ignore the gushing blood and fatty tissue that I could clearly see exposed in the gash in his chin but clearly, I was going to take a trip to the E.R., before any other trips were possible.

FORTUNATELY the E.R. was not too busy and they had me in and out in eighteen minutes, a Loudoun County record.

I admit, I left my stitched up little boy with the babysitter and tried to make my flight but UNFORTUNATELY that eighteen minutes, plus the twenty on each end to drive to the hospital were ten minutes too many. Or so I was told by United Airlines.

(I was at the airport a good 50 minutes before my flight was scheduled to depart but apparently you need a least one hour before international flights).

FORTUNATELY I was able to schedule my departure for two days later (and extend my trip by two days) and was still able to join the Hub in London!

What an awesome Hubby I have! We had such a great time. He felt bad that I had to spend so much time alone but I kept reassuring him that for full-time-at-home Mom being alone in England is a magical and wondrous thing!

And did I mention that though Mr. Z was very glad to have me unexpectedly home, when the other kids realized that I missed my flight Miss A said "Oh, rats! I was excited to hang out with Courtney", and Mr. N said "What! You are here? That stinks!"

I silently agreed.

The fateful split chin.

I highly recommend buying the 24 hour bus tour. You can hop on and off the bus
through out the city at the different attractions over a 24 hour period.
I went with the Big Bus Company, if I ever go back I will go with
The Original Sightseeing Tour - they have a LOT more buses in operation.

The Hub had to work whilst there, but he grabbed a few moments whenever possible
as seen with me in front of the Clock Tower. Contrary to popular understanding,
the bells within the tower are called Big Ben, not the tower itself.
And 'yes', this is what an International Man of Mystery wears whilst working.

Here we see the National Gallery at Trafalgar Square. Just before I took this picture
I was asked out by a French Man who did not care that I was married (which I had to keep telling him). Had I been unmarried perhaps this tale would have a different ending.
Or had I been attracted to a 50-something short man who worked for the Big Bus Company.

I loved seeing all the red phone booths but did not love it when
I had to use one as they are frequently utilized as urinals.

Guards in front of Buckingham Palace. The last time I was in London we were able to
walk up to the guards and get pictures with them.
It would seem that the 9-11 terrorists continue to effect life here and overseas.

Picadilly Circus

The White Cliff of Dover - where US and Allied forces set sail on D-Day.

Canterbury Cathedral

Tower of London

The Tower Bridge

Leeds Castle

Westminster Abbey

The Flower Garden at Hyde ParkThe Dining Hall at Christ Church, Oxford - to Harry Potter fans this might look familiar...

The 'Harry Potter Stairs' at Christ Church

The Cottswolds - a picturesque 'suburb' of London where we had lunch.

Shakespeare's House at Stratford-Upon-Avon.

Warwick Castle

Apparently I went to NYC...

2009-06-11T11:18:00.005-04:00

My Mom and I took the kids to NYC for three days. We had SO much fun!

The boys's loved that it was Fleet Week.

When we walked into Dylan's Candy Bar (a three story candy store) the kids shifted from 'I am so tired and can not walk another step' to a pre-consumptive sugar high. We literally had to run to find the restroom as two of the three were in such an excited state that I was sure that at least one of them was going to wet their pants.

We formed many memories on this surry ride.......squishing 5 people into a mode of transport that was likely made for a maximum of three.......watching our 'driver' haul all of us uphill as we headed for the entrance to central park......the kids popsicles rapidly melting and dripping onto my shoes, pants and arms.....learning (from an angry NYC resident) that it was illegal to bring a surry into the park.....

The kids were troopers, we hauled them to The Empire State Building, Ellis Island, Liberty Island, through Central Park, to the World Trade Center Site, Battery Park, Toys R Us (with a ferris wheel), Times Square, the M&M's store, Ellen's Star Dust Diner, the Natural History Museum, Dylan's Candy Bar, FAO Schwartz, and to the Lion King.

Apparently Miss A had a birthday...

2009-06-01T08:33:00.005-04:00

Nothing like a birthday on a weekend so that presents can be opened first thing in the morning!

Birthday Breakfast is a tradition at our house.
Waffles topped with ice cream and all the toppings!

I designed cupcake sleeves for Allie's cupcakes! I didn't want to pay for them (pricey!) and I couldn't find a template so it was a bit of work but totally worth it!

Allie designed and helped decorate these cupcakes - she is so artistic and creative!

I am so proud of my amazing girl. She is SUCH a wonderful person. I feel so blessed to have her in my life. She amazes me all the time with her maturity, sensitivity, and great attitude. She is 11 this year..........I can't wait to see what she accomplishes. LOVE HER ! ! ! ! !

Apparently I am playing catch-up...

2009-06-01T08:22:00.004-04:00

Made a wedding veil for Heather - love her!

Allie's art was in a show at the mall!

Zack's allergies have resulted in a slight case of asthma -
for which he need periodic breathing treatments.

Matt was out of town so the kids took it upon themselves to decorate for
Mother's Day. They sent me on a treasure hunt to find my gifts! Cute kids!

Mother's Day tea at Zack's preschool.

Apparently Mr. N is a lover...

2009-06-01T08:11:00.006-04:00

While riding into D.C. to see the Cherry Blossoms (on the Metro) Nick was showing
me the way he was going to stare into the eyes of the girl that he loved.

Paddle Boats in the Tidal Basin (Jefferson Memorial).

Walking around the Tidal Basin

Tomb of the Unknown Soldier.

The Eternal Flame (Kennedy grave site).

Life:

2009-05-20T09:06:00.005-04:00

She is definitely a 'tween' and has discovered a love for shopping! I love it that she is not too cool to let loose and act silly - as seen trying on a killer wig!

Nick worked really hard on his visual aids, report and displays for the third grade Animal Fair. One of the greatest things about our school district is that they try to foster children's independence from parents 'helping' with their work. They completed 100% of this project at school, including creating their own silk screen for a tee shirt. The only thing I did was iron it on so he could wear it for the fair.
The hubby was not surprisingly out of town for our 13th anniversary (old! ugh!) No pics but I made him his very own anniversary cookies! We are celebrated with a dinner at our favorite restaurant 'Not Your Average Joe's'.
For YEARS I have TRIED to make impressive cakes. This is yet another example of a failed attempt that that was created to celebrate the birthday of a good friend. Hey - it tasted good!
Roller skating with the kiddo's was tons of hilarious fun! I wasn't able to take many pics as at least two of the three offspring were clinging to various parts of my body at all times!

Life:

2009-05-20T08:39:00.005-04:00

As I update my neglected blog you might notice that other things have been neglected as well (see previous post). The photographic evidence from 2009 thus far indicates that I took the time to make and photograph cookies though I did not take the time to remember the camera at most of the events that have transpired with my family. Hopefully acknowledgement of my short-comings and redirection of time is penance enough for past transgression.....right?

Valentines Day brought many heart shaped things.....

Every year Nick picks up more tips on how to craft a truly magnificent Pine Wood Derby Car!

Nick and Allie LOVED playing basketball. I was the coach for Allies team (no - I do not have excessive basketball skills but I certain know more that a bunch of 10 year olds - right?). Sadly, the camera did not make it to one game or practice! Zack was not as enthusiastic as basketball. It was difficult for him to transition from soccer, where we had games for all three kids and dutifully cheered for all three kids, to basketball where we only cheered for two of them.

busy...busy...too busy...

2009-04-29T11:30:00.003-04:00

I have not blogged on over a month. There are many other things in my life which I have not done in over a month as well. As a wife and mom, most of the things that I SHOULD be doing - I am only doing about as half as well as I am able.

So what is sucking up all of my time?

Cookies.

I launched my cookie biz officially in January and it has been quite successful. All other areas of my life have not been successful though and so - after 4 months - I am going out of business.

We don't need the money, but my kids need a Mom, my hubby needs a Wife, and my house need to be cleaned.

I am kind of sad - but relieved.

Other things that I have neglected that I am now looking forward to:

Going to lunch with friends
Going to bed at a reasonable hour
Spending time with my kids when I am not wearing an apron.
Having a clean and organized house.
Spending more time at the gym.
Getting all of the bags, boxes, and supplies off of my dining room table.
Doing ANYTHING for me that does not involve a rolling pin.
Blogging again.

See you soon!

A Day In The Life Of A Scatterbrain

2009-03-16T19:16:00.006-04:00

Last week, several events came together in one great and public display of my own scatterbrain-ed-ness.

Not bothering to check Mr.Z when we left the house for pre-school, I did not realize that he was wearing his 'favorite floods' (black sweat pants that are too short). Not only are they too short, he likes to roll them up at the waist band, taking a few more inches off the bottom.

Not realizing that I did not have his backpack in my car - he happily took a plastic Target sack (which I found in the back seat) instead.

And within the Target sack was his show-and-tell.

About show-and-tell:

Life was much easier when I was in Elementary school and every friday was show-and -tell day. Now, the kids are assigned different days through out the year. Being a scatterbrain - I can not remember these days.

Usually Mr.Z remembers that he has show-and-tell whilst on the way to school. Consequently, we have found ourselves rummaging through the car for some very 'special', show-and- tell items.

So far he has taken:

*A 'really cool' rock that he found at the park - incidentally, I could not tell what was so cool about it.

*A box of his favorite Girl Scout Cookies (that Mrs.A had sold to someone else which I had to replace for them).

*A drawing that he had made on a program from church (who knows how long that had been under the seat).

And most recently -------- a bottle of Hand Sanitizer.

Now, the Girls Scout cookies were fun - but Mr.Z (who is a little OCD about germs) was way more excited about taking the sanitizer to school.

And so I walked my skipping pre-schooler into the building. He had about 3 inches of ankle exposed - due to the 'favorite floods' - and his Target bag was swinging in sync with his skip, thanks to the weight of the hand sanitizer within.

And there you have a glimpse into one day in the life of a scatterbrain.

Today I am Sick....

2009-03-04T12:15:00.002-05:00

I did not sleep well last night and have spent the whole day on the sofa under a blanket....

...feeling grateful for the Laptop that the Hub gave me for my Birthday.

My youngest and I are watching cartoons - Tom and Jerry - and he is eating lunch....

...a box of Froot Loops.

He is loving just sitting with me and talking about how he likes Jerry more than Tom - because after all, Jerry is much funnier than Tom.

He just made me a little pile of my very own Froot Loops for me to eat 'when I feel better'.

Who knew being sick would be so much fun.

I get so busy sometimes that I forget that watching a silly cartoon with my little one can be a very rewarding experience.

I am closing my lapatop now - the next episode is about to start.

Ditching the PSP

2009-02-26T23:14:00.004-05:00

Tonight one of the offspring who is OBSESSED with video games (as so many young boys are) amazed me. The hub and I keep a very tight reign on the the amount of time that the boy has with his beloved electronic games. He has to read to earn gaming time - minute for minute, and only can play on the weekends.

BUT - on Thursday nights when I coach 'A's basketball team and the Hub is working late the boys have to come with me. So - I let 'N' play his PSP during practice from 8-9pm if he has earned it by reading.

'N' loves basketball - and his practice time is earlier so he is usually tired by 'A's practice and quietly plays his PSP during that hour. Tonight however - there was a free basket in the gym and I was shocked to see him excitedly ditch the PSP, grab a spare ball and have a great time shooting hoops with a couple friends.

This may seem like no big deal - but I LOVED watching my awesome kid not just voluntarily but excitedly emerge from his electronic world to do something else.

Now I just need 'Z' to ditch his blanket that I let him bring to the practice. On one hand I am horrified that I allow him to bring it. On the other hand - he theoretically should have been in bed and hour earlier and has very poor coping skills. Having him lay on my coat on the gym floor under his blanket seems a better alternative to trying to coach while having to lug around a tired/grouchy/sobbing 5 year old.

After all, I have to deal with a not-so-tired/grouchy/often sobbing 5 year old during all other daylight hours.

Conversations with 'Z'

2009-02-19T08:19:00.009-05:00

Me: What do you want for breakfast?
Z: What's on the menu?
Me: Ummmmm - Mini Wheats?
Z: Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm............
Me: So, would you like some Mini Wheats?
Z: y-y-y, n-n-n-, y-y-y, n-n-n, y-y-y-YES! That was a tough decision!
------
Z: I need to be rich when I grow up.
Me: Really? Why do you need to be rich?
Z: Cause I need a giant mud pit in my back yard.
Me: Do you need to be rich to have a mud pit?
Z: Yes. Cause where else can my elephant play? I also need an ocean in my backyard for my dolphin. And I need to take the mud pit in the house so my elephant can come in when there is snow but I can't take the ocean inside so I guess I will have to get a salty pool in the basement. I also want a whale when I am rich.
-----
Z: Can I have bubble gum for breakfast?
Me: Nope.
Z: Well, how about sugar free bubble gum? Or cookies?
-----
Me: Aren't you excited for Kindergarten next year?
Z: No. I am excited to go to college so I can get my own pet.
Me: I am excited for you to go to Kindergarten. You will do fun things there.
Z: Oh good! Like going to the pool?
-----
Z: I wish I had my drivers license.
Me: Why?
Z: Because then I could drive my own car and drive to Africa, Greenland, and the North Pole. I would get an Elephant in Africa. I would see if trees grown in Greenland. And I would meet Santa at the North Pole. Maybe Santa will give me a whale for next Christmas.
Me: Where will you put a whale if Santa gives you one?
Z: In a huge pool in the basement.
Me: We don't have a huge pool in the basement.
Z: I know! He will give it to me when I am rich.
Me: How will you get rich?
Z: I will do my best and work hard and get good grades in every school. Then my job will be to train animals, like whales, dolphins, and elephants.
-----
Z: My favorite food is going to be salad, carrots and turkey when I grow up.
Me: Do you like those things now?
Z: Ew! Yuck! I hate salad and carrots. Turkey is okay though.
Me: When are you going to start liking salad and carrots?
Z: When I am 15 I think.
Me: What is your favorite food now?
Z: Chick-Fil-A Food. And corn.
-----
Me: I like this Valentines Day card that Grandma sent you.
Z: I don't like it. Pirates should not be on a pink card.
Me: Well, it's a Valentines Card and pink is a Valentines Color.
Z: Well I hate the card, but I do like the five dollars in it.
-----
And while walking past Victoria's Secret in the Mall
Z: Ugh! Bras! I hate seeing girls in bras!
Me: I know! Close your eyes so you won't see them.
Z: Why can't I just see girls with no bras!?!
------

Tick..Tock..Tick..Tock

2009-02-03T20:09:00.004-05:00

I hate to waste time. This does not mean that I don't get distracted from what I should be doing. I routinely start different projects that are completely unnecessary. In fact, I happen to be the reigning queen of misappropriating my time with things that are non essential. During the creation phase of such projects I am incredibly unaware of the many things that I should be doing. Those 'things' (a.k.a. responsibilities) , suddenly come rushing back into my brain as soon as I hear the kids walk in the door from school and I realize that my so-called free time has ended, and my to-do list is still quite long.

And so - I have banned myself from the craft store. (And did I mention that my husband is less than thrilled at the number of crafty purchases that appear on our bank statement). No A.C. Moore, no Michaels, no Jo-Ann Super Store. These mercantile institutions are my vice. So - with the banishment of all craftiness I will undoubtably gain many hours with which to accomplish the need-to's.

Now I only need to figure out a way to gain more time by remembering where I park my car. I am not exaggerating when I say that I NEVER remember where it is parked when I have been away from it for more than 30 minutes. I shudder to think of the number of hours that I have wasted as I wander around parking lots, holding my keys in the air, pressing the lock button in hopes that I will near my vehicle and it will answer me with a bleep-bleep. When 'Z' is with me he helpfully calls out:

"Where are you Honda Pilot? Honda! Honda! Where are you?"

A glass-is-half-empty kind of gal might find this embarrassing. Luckily I am a glass-is-half-full sort so I realize that my idiocy, accompanied by child-like helpfulness has caused many a laugh in retail and grocery patrons alike. I am brightening the day of others, and perhaps providing them with a humorous anecdote to share with loved ones over dinner.

And if I were a half-empty type, I could find solace in the fact that my car will never again be lost in front of a craft store.

2009-01-23T11:04:00.003-05:00

For years, I tried to make fantastic cakes for my kids birthdays. I would research different things and go all out to create some sort of crazy-fun cake for them. Some were good, some were less than good, but for each birthday I would spend a lot of time and energy making sure that my kids had a totally unique and cool cake for their birthday. A few year ago, we were in the bakery of a Super-Walmart and the kids happened to see the book of cakes that were available for special order. They were amazed and awe struck at all the wondrous cakes that a person could choose from. 'N' and 'A' expressed amazement over the cakes and someone said with surprise:

"So this is where these cakes come from! I thought these were only really special cakes that were hard to find. I thought Mom didn't know about them and so she just tried to make any old cake for us."

They proceeded to beg me to 'puh-lease' let them pick out a cake from the book for their birthday because they were the coolest cakes ever and they did not like the kind that I made as much as these extra special creations.

I was reminded of this event yesterday as we went down the Valentines aisle at the local Grocery store............

A: Oh my gosh! Guys look what I found! Real live Valentines!
N: You don't even have to make these!
A: I know, you just write a kids name and sign your name and you are done. These are the coolest Valentines ever!
N: I always wanted this kind!

The kids then proceeded to beg me to 'puh-lease' let them pick out a box of valentines because they were so much more cool that the kind they 'have' to make.

Yep. Each February I pain-stakingly select a fun-for-all crafty valentine that the kids and I can make together.

Apparently I am spending too much time 'making' when there is a perfectly acceptable, and likely favorable, pre-constructed alternative.

Homemade Birthday Cakes: out. Homemade Valentines: out.

I wonder what else in my life can be eliminated. I am sure that offspring would not complain if I quit making dinner and ordered pizza every night.

Slurp!

2009-01-05T20:22:00.006-05:00

The date - Sunday, January 4th. The time - 2:40pm, Eastern Standard Time. The place - Sacrament Meeting. The situation - Z has just pulled a giant red and white swirly straw from where it had been secreted inside of his shirt.

Me: (in a whisper) Hey Z - Why did you bring that straw to church?
Z: (quite loudly) This straw? I brought it to slurp up the sacrament!

A few other noteworthy items that took place on Sunday:

1. This was our first meeting which took place from 2:30-5:30. I will refrain from prolific complaint.
2. As our ward is predominantly BYU prone, I felt the need to represent the UTES and their beyond fantastic victory over Alabama in the Sugar Bowl. So - I called a friend and fellow U fan. Our husbands were both out of town so we, and all of our kids dressed in Red and White. As luck would have it, we were both on time and arrived simultaneously. We paraded in together, eyeballing all the Cougars as if to say 'you are welcome for the $17 million'. The Stake President (and collegiate compatriot) was sitting on the stand and gave us a victory nod.

Christmas Simplified

2008-12-28T20:08:00.004-05:00

Every year the Hub and I tell each other that we are going to 'take it easy' and 'scale back'. Then, every year we go nuts buying things for our kids that we think will make them scream with joy on Christmas morning.

I will admit that I think spoiling my kids is fun. There is nothing fun however, about having spoiled kids. So this year we committed. The kids were told at the beginning of November that for the Fishler Family Christmas 2008 they would receive 4 gifts - one each in the following categories:

1. Something you want
2. Something you need
3. Something to wear
4. Something to read

The 'something you want' would come from Santa. All others were from me and the Hub. When asked: "What if Santa wants to give us more presents?" We replied: "We will write a letter to Santa telling him to give those gifts to other kids who don't have as much as we do".

We were thrilled as the kids not only embraced this plan, but carefully and methodically began to make decisions about what they wanted for Christmas.

When we saw Santa at the mall, the following conversation ensued:

Santa: What do you want for Christmas?
Z: Jedi Math for Leapster
Santa: That sounds like fun! What else would you like?
Z: Nothing else, all those presents are for other kids."

We are still flying high on the coat tails of our simplified Christmas. All three kids are continually busy playing with their few gifts and none of us feel that anything was missing.

Now that the holiday's are winding down I can honestly say that I feel that the Hub and I gave the kids more this year than any other because our celebration was sweeter, and more full of gratitude and joy.

Perks

2008-12-22T11:03:00.005-05:00

Many companies offer employee bonuses and fringe benefits to show their thanks and support to those that keep a business afloat. This creates a satisfied employee base and assures staff turnover will be kept to a minimum. As a tax payer, I am glad that the Federal Government does not offer ANY such benefits. As the stay-at-home spouse of such an employee, I am awed when told by others about their 'extras'. The dicotomy between public and private sector is especially noticable during the holiday season. HOWEVER - last night we were able to cash in on a FANTASTIC perk that was eight years in coming.

It was an adventure for the whole family - and if you are on my Christmas (otherwise known as New Year's) Card list you will be getting a recap of the evening soon!

Why I Am Not Blogging

2008-12-12T08:31:00.011-05:00

Another whaaaaaat?

2008-11-24T22:59:00.007-05:00

I have some great conversations with 'N'. To recall a few:
Dart Board/Dark Lord
The Disgusting Facts of Life
Bird's and Bee's at Target
Sugar Cookies, Elvis and Poop
Elves vs. Doorfs

And here we go again......

N: Are all terrorists Muslim's?
Me: No, many of them are, but not all.
(pause)
N: So in the next Harry Potter movie why is Professor Snape called the Half Blood Prince?
Me: Because his dad was a regular guy and his mom was a witch. His Mom's last name was Prince so he called himself the 'Half Blood Prince' because he had half of his Mom's blood.
N: And is that why he was half bad and half good? Because his Dad was bad and his Mom was good?
Me: Well we don't know what kind of man his Dad was. Professor Snape was a complicated character because he had made some bad choices but then he tried to make up for them by working with Dumbledore to defeat Voldemort.
N: Well I though he was half bad because he was half Muslim.
Me: Whaaaaat?
N: Half blood Prince, Half blood Muslim.
Me: You mean half blood Muggle?
N: Oh......Yeah.....Nevermind.....Muggles aren't terrorists.

Gratitude.....

2008-11-22T01:13:00.005-05:00

Sometimes - I enjoy a good pity party.

I am too busy.
The laundry somehow multiplies hourly.
Why, exactly, have I volunteered to do so much at the Elementary School?
I am tired of telling my kids not to do something one million times - and then again.
I am tired of cooking.
There are not enough hours in the day to get things done.
My Hub's weird work schedule has him gone more that I would like.
I don't live near my Mom and Sisters.
Our retirement account is down by nearly 50%.
I don't want to clean pee off the back of anymore toilet seats anymore........

HOWEVER-

Tonight my Hub is out of town and the kids are at a sleep over. So, I went out with girlfriends to see TWILIGHT. And when I got home, my house was too quiet. It felt empty and lonely. And I was reminded of who I do it all for. I am so incredibly grateful that I have them - and that I have the capacity to serve them. I am grateful that The Hub has a great, and very secure job, and that he works hard to provide for us. I am glad that we are relatively unaffected by the current economic crisis, even considering the retirement account. I am glad that I have a house to clean, clothes to wash, and food on the table. (I will try to keep my enthusiasm for the food to a minimum!)

So - I am off to bed with a happy heart. I will try to suffer through my solitude as I spread out in the king size bed - using all four pillows, and I as sleep in tomorrow.

I just wish that someone else would pitch in with wiping the pee off the back of the toilet.

Stats on North Pole Employment

2008-11-11T18:54:00.010-05:00

N: You know Mom, Elder Uchtdorf (ook-dorf) should work at the North Pole
Me: What? (wrinkled brow)
N: Like with Santa. He should work for Santa!
Me: What? (more wrinkling)
N: Cause he is like a dorf.
Me: (thinking hard then starting to laugh) You mean like a Dwarf?
N: Yep. He is just like a dorf.
Me: Well, Santa works with elves, not DWARFS. Dwarfs are regular people who don't grow as tall as average humans.
N: Oh. I thought he worked with dorfs. And Elder Uchtdorf actually looks pretty tall. I guess he shouldn't work for Santa after all.

This was not the first time that with raised eyebrows I have evaluated this kid, wondering how (in the name of all that is reasonable) his nutty brain works.

On a related note: QUOTES FROM THE KIDS -

A: I think that I know your favorite time of the day. It's the second that you tuck us all into bed and turn off the lights and escape downstairs.
A: Have you noticed that the more late we are, the madder you get at all of us? Maybe you should work on being on time more often.
Z: I really want to go on a cruise but those are only for rich people.
N: If you get mad at me then I guess that's okay - but you said the 'H' word. You said it two times and I don't think that's okay.
Z: I really want this thing for my birthday but if it is not the right price I will just ask for it for Christmas.
Z: If I was a vulture I would be a very peaceful one. Not the kind that eats dead bloody squirrels on the side of the road. Or maybe I would just be a duck. Or a goose.
Z: I think that I am very handsome. And complicated.
N: What if I was cleaner than soap? Would I have to take a bath then?
M: I need to take a pitocin. (me: so you can have a baby?) No....., so I can sleep. (me: do you mean a mealtoinin?) Oh......yeah.
Z: Do you know what is gross? Salad. Do you know what is grosser? Salad in throw up. With a hot dog on top.
N: Aaahhhh! I'm not wearing any underpants! Oh - wait - I actually am, the wind just blew up my shorts and touched my - never mind.
N: I am not playing attention to the Wii.
A: Are you being scarcastic?
A: What's on my Lagenda?

Motherhood? Oh Brother-hood!

2008-11-10T13:48:00.008-05:00

Just over one decade ago, I birthed my first baby. I had great expectations of how fabulous my journey into motherhood was going to be. These expectation where demolished within two weeks of bringing 'A' home from the hospital. The baby had three functions: a dead sleep, nursing ferociously, and wailing in a near animalistic way. Throwing herself so ferociously into a crying fit, she suddenly would stop, and instantly fall asleep in absolute exhaustion. Nothing would pacify, and we had tried everything from a vibrating bouncy chair, to drives in the car, to pushing her around the gravelly parking lot of the nearest grocery store in the middle of the night. If 'A' was awake, she was miserable. And I was afraid. My perfect little baby had a problem.

She was hungry. I discovered that I was not producing enough breast milk to sustain infantile life. In fact, at a two week check up, 'A' had lost a whopping 2.5 pounds.

After I watched her slurp down not one, but two bottles of formula in the pediatricians office, and after I had a semi-major melt down over my maternal short comings, I hatched a plan. I met with the clinic’s lactation specialist, talked to someone at lack La Leche League and I made frequent appointments at a nearby store called the ‘Lactation Station’. I was armed with a myriad of advise and products. I felt confident. More than prepared to tackle the problem. Cheered on by breast feeding counselors, I had been assured that it would be ‘no problem’ to build up a proper milk supply. I consumed herbal tea called ‘mother’s milk’, swallowed gigantic holistic pills twice daily, and took some kind of powder that farmers gave to cows to promote bulk retail on dairy farms.

Then there was the spectacle of ‘the feeding’. I had been instructed to first electrically pump for five minutes, on each side. Next came the nursing, wherein I ‘let’ 'A' suckle, again for five minutes, on each side. This was nearly an impossible feat as she possessed infantile awareness that I was a completely unsuitable food source. We ritualistically fought for ten minutes as she would ferociously latch on and then angrily squirm, grunt, and finally wail. In a grand pre-show of the forth coming Parental Power Wars I attempted to force her compliance as she arched her back and fought me with all of her two week old might.

The next attraction was jimmy-rigging a bottle like contraption that hung from my neck by a cord. Once filled with formula, and whatever little else I was able to produce from the pumping session, the bottle would disperse nourishment from two long skinny straw-like tubes. The plastic tubes were literally taped strategically to my flesh (use your imagination here) so my child could consume the liquid life-force as if it were a product of my own maternal making. The tubes were designed for an agonizingly slow flow to further stimulate the production of breast milk, and neither mother, nor daughter were fooled by the farce. Only the taste of plastic would convince 'A' that hunger would be abated. Once sensing the presence of the tubes, she would latch on and get down to the serious business of eating. Following the feeding I was to pump again. For five minutes, on each side.

I felt like a contender in the breast feeding special Olympics. The starting shot was that guttural cry: feed me! And the games would begin. One hour later I would cross the finish line which was signaled only after I washed then placed the pump pieces and nursing device components on the drying rack. Ding, ding, ding! My event took place eight to nine times a day and I wondered what it would be like to go outside again. Or wear a shirt.

Two weeks later, 'A' became a bottle baby.

All issues surrounding the ill fated feeding fiasco seemed resolved as I packed up the pump. Minus the time and emotional constraints of failure to breast feed, I expected life to magically transform into some version of normal.

It didn’t.

Though re-gaining the two and a half pounds, and consistently then some, that she had originally lost, my tiny daughter suffered several side effects from the two week forced fast. Firstly, eating continued to be a very intense exercise. She would inhale the contents of a bottle with lightening like speed, faster than any baby I had seen, and believe me, I was watching. Several months later, when I started feeding her solids, she would suck the pureed contents off the spoon without leaving a tell tale sign of squashed fruits or vegetables on her face, which any one who has ever fed a baby can tell you is overly bizarre. Secondly, she was very....particular. If snuggled too closely, she would arch her back and screech, even while asleep. She did however, like to be bounced. But not close and cuddly. No, we had to straight arm her. Holding the baby perpendicular to our own bodies and bouncing her up and down in the air. It was exhausting, though possibly good for the forearms. The pediatrician guessed this was a post-traumatic stress reaction from two weeks of nursing on an empty breast.

Close human contact brought out my child's inner fear of starvation.

And as if I didn’t have enough to worry about (guilt from bottle feeding, worry about infantile eating disorders and the stress of producing an emotionally disabled newborn) there was the the insanely prolific acid reflux. Nothing would stay in 'A's stomach for for than five minutes. The one good thing that came from her dislike for being held closely, was that the projectile vomiting was always traveling in a direction opposite from whom ever was holding her. Strategically, she could be aimed towards something washable.

It is no wonder that when I was given a book I could not help but roll my eyes. It was called 'The Joy of Motherhood'.

Though now I can take the messages in the book to heart, at the time all I could think was: Motherhood? Oh Brother-Hood!

Halloween Party

2008-11-07T16:06:00.010-05:00

They joined us for spooky-ness..... Saturday night.....
They came for the fun..... For a drink and a bite.....
They brought their best dish.....and brought their best spouse.....
And joined us for fun.....They haunted our house.....
Came dressed in thier best..... Halloween threads.....
Left all their wee one's..... Home in their beds.....
Then came the judging.... For Ashburn elite.....
With prize for yummiest..... Trick-or-treat eats.....
And prize for the costume..... Most awesome design.....
They came to our doorstep..... At six o'clock prime.....
Warmed up their vocal cords..... warned all to beware.....
As we sang karaoke...... When I asked, Do you dare?

Happy Birthday Baby!

2008-11-07T15:48:00.005-05:00

My baby has turned five. It was at the end of last month and I am so lucky to have such a fun little guy in my life. Love you 'Z'!

When he was really a baby!

The traditional Birthday Breakfast of waffles with ice cream!

Birthday party number one!

Birthday Party number two!

McCain vs. Palin?

2008-11-07T14:37:00.004-05:00

Shame on the back-stabbling McCain staffers who are cowardly trying to cover for their own ineptness by blaming the 2008 GOP loss on Sarah Palin. She was the one person who brought vitalitiy to an otherwise flat-lined campaign. John McCain's silence on the accusations made against her indicate that he either endorses the ungrateful, inaccurate denunciations, or worse, he is promoting them. It is Sarah Palin who should be criticizing McCain and his staff for such a lack-luster, disorganized failure of a campaign. If McCain can not stand up for the person he had chosen to be his number two in command, than how could the American people possibly expect him to stand up for them.

As a conservative who voted for McCain I am sincerely glad that Team Obama won.

And now - as a Virginian, I will be glad that there are no more campaigning knocks on my door or calls on my phone during dinner.

The Basics of A Political Rally

2008-10-27T11:58:00.007-04:00

Today The Hub, Z, and I went to a Road To Victory Rally in Leesburg which Sarah Palin attended. After asking a few questions, Z had this insight:

Z: Mom - why do all these people like John McCain?
Me: Because there are a lot of problems in our country and these people think that John McCain can solve some of them.
Z: These guys want John McCain to fix their problems?
Me: Yep

About 30 minutes later on the lengthy walk to the car...........

Z: Maybe John McCain can help me get to the car faster. And maybe he can help me find a bathroom.

And so - if you did not already know - though I have many issues with the Republican party, I support McCain and Palin. To sum up my political feelings in an overly simple way- some citizens truly need government assistance. Most people in the U.S. however, need to take responsibility for themselves and not expect the government to bail them out of situations that have been caused by personal greed and irresponsibility. No one is entitled to be given anything that someone else has earned. The government is a hugely inefficient and corrupt system and I will not ever vote to make it larger or to give it more money. They mess enough things up as it is.

If only our problems could be solved with some directions to the bathroom! (Which I am sure John McCain knows something about, as his age would require him to visit one more frequently.)

(Come on my democratic friends - time for a friendly debate!)

Before Begetting...

2008-10-17T10:12:00.011-04:00

Before begetting any babies, I possessed a slightly unimaginative ideology. I expressed this philosophy during high school (sadly), and through out college (pathetically), through actions later attributed to an un-diagnosed case of 'lack of motivation-itis'. Looking back, I still find it difficult to tolerate my own stolid past self. Meandering through life, apathetically allowing things to occur rather than making them happen, I was unassertive, unresisting, and uninvolved in my oh-so-very hands off approach to living.

If I received a B or even a C on a test or final grade? Oh well. My slackers path was easier. Never mind the fact that top scores were well within my range of capability. If I would have cared to put a fraction more than perfunctory effort into studying.

Though caring little for my responsibilities at Dan’s grocery store, I maintained my position at the customer service desk from ages sixteen through twenty-two? Oh well. Never mind. The store was close, convenient. Easier.

My parents had been frustratingly aware of my indifferent, supine philosophy which is why they were dismayed, but not surprised, by my decision to pursue a degree in Human Development and Family Studies from the University of Utah. My Dad asked (with a snort) "What are you going to do after graduation? Develop some humans?” To which I attitutinally replied: "Yep."

I started on the road to doing just that when I met the Hub during my junior year. Our first date was in June. We were engaged by October.

"Marriage is a big responsibility” my mom counseled. “You will have have to go grocery shopping, clean your house, pay bills.....”

“I know,” I interrupted with an imbecilic reply. “It sounds like a lot of fun really!” Dreamily, I smiled to my self in anticipation of the fun-for-all forthcoming financial obligations. Mom looked at me with raised eyebrows that clearly said ‘you are an idiot’. But what did she know? My own bills. Mailed to my own house. Yippee.

The Hub and I married the following March, nine months after our first date.

Upon graduating, right after the first anniversary of our marriage, I began to consider, for the first time, my degree of suitability for a career. As I searched the want ad’s in the Sunday paper it occurred to me, somewhat belatedly, that simply possessing my special degree from an accredited university was not the only prerequisite for landing a great job.

I handled the slightly more bitter disappointment it in the same stoically dispassionate way that I had responded to every other unplanned event in my life, (Oh well...nevermind) which is how I came to be a receptionist for a marketing firm downtown. The job was slow. And dull. And so, from lack of prerequisite, or perceived ability to do anything else, hatched from boredom was my decision to convince the Hub that it was time for us to have a baby.

My short lived ‘career’? Oh well. Never mind. This would be easier.

It turned out that my Dad was prophetic - after graduation I developed some humans.

Over one decade later, I have nothing but fantabulous things to say about my 3 offspring (most of the time anyway) - my three kids are awe inspiring and absolutely awesome. I am phenomenally grateful to have been blessed with them.

But hopefully the Hub has donated the right mix of DNA - I don't want to pass on the dreaded 'lack of motivation-itis'!

From Cookies To Vegetables

2008-10-05T08:57:00.007-04:00

Z: (bites the head off of his ghost) This is a headless ghost! (takes another strategic bite)
N: Now it is a bum-less ghost! And a crotch-less ghost!
Z: Yeah! He will never be able to go to the bathroom!
N: Oh yeah! Let's name him Elvis because Elvis couldn't go to the bathroom either!
Z: Yeah! Elvis has no bum! Who is Elvis?
N: This singer man who took lots of drugs and couldn't poop and he died on the toilet just trying and trying.
Z: Maybe he should have had some poop pills. Like Dad.
N: If I was Elvis I would eat more vegetables. Lots and lots so I could poop.
Z: Me too. I would sit at the table when I was done singing and eat lots lots of broccoli but only if there was lots of butter.
N: Maybe we need to eat more vegetables......

Who knew that the gratuitous bestowal of Halloween cookies upon my offspring would result is such a thought provoking conversation betwixt 2 brothers. The next time I am tempted to quash the potty talk I will remember that perhaps a valuable lesson can be learned if I allow the less-than-tasteful conversation to play out!

I am sick, sick, sick!

2008-10-04T00:57:00.008-04:00

I was recently diagnosed with a sickness called HELIUM HAND (also known as Compulsive Volunteerism). This is a serious condition in which the affected individual can not help but to raise her hand to proffer service whenever it is requested. Really, there is no mental control over the Helium Hand - it simply rises in the air when anyone is in need of anything. In fact, as the Helium Hand rises, it takes control of the brain, making it's clueless possessor forget all of the other things that they have volunteered to do. My symptoms of this sickness are as follows:

-Chairperson of the PTA Reflections Committee
-Script Writer for the Elementary School Morning News Broadcast
-Chairperson of the afterschool Craft Club
-Girl Scout Cookie co-chairperson
-Den Mother of Bear/Wolf troop
-Assistant coach to my daughters soccer team 'The Tornados'
-Assistant coach to my son's soccer team 'The Lynx'

A good friend recently conducted an intervention in my behalf. She has offered to be my sponser and I have committed to a 12 step program. The first step is to admit that I suffer from Helium Hand, and that I need help. My sponser is in recovery herself and told me that being in an elementary school, at a church, or on an athletic field is the equivalent to an alcoholic being in a bar, however, she assures me that HH can be a managable disorder

I am currently being coached at saying "No..." but I can tell it is going to be a long and difficult process.

I am off to bed now - I need my sleep because as Assistant Coach to the soccer team, it is my duty to take charge when THE Coach is out of town. Which is the case tomorow.

Wish me luck - and don't ask me to do anything!

Like Father, Like Son

2008-09-28T10:33:00.014-04:00

We are, and always have been a Star Wars obsessed family. I have adopted these feelings since marriage but The Hub is life time fan.

Nearly twenty five years ago, my Mother-in-law donated The Hub's supply of SW action figures and battleships to the Deseret Industries. To this day - there are some deep seated feelings of resentment over this act of donation. To try and heal the wounds, when we were first married, I started hunting for SW action figures and gave them to The Hub for birthdays and Christmas. They were difficult to find at the time because it was before the re-release of the Trilogy and the completion of the Prequels. Upon recieving them, The Hub opened the figures and set them out lovingly on a shelf in our bedroom. He now regrets opening the packages and the action figures are in a sealed container hidden in the closet (the kids are allowed to look at them whilst supervised). We also have an adult sized Vader mask/voice simulator in the closet, and just yesterday 'M' mentioned that he really wanted to get this $200.00 light saber that comes with a special stand for display purposes.

We once owned the Star Wars Trivial Pursuit Game but The Hub gave it to his brother because he felt like owning it make him too much of a nerd. Let's be honest - a person who excitedly purchases the game and effectively slaughters all competition with his vast store of knowledge gained from not just watching the shows but reading the literature - has achieved ground breaking SW nerd status - regardless of weather they keep the game or not.

As I said, we are all big fans, but 'N' actually outpaces 'M' in his devotion to the galaxy. Starting at the age of one, he could always be calmed if I quietly hummed any of the Star Wars theme songs in his ear. In fact, because 'N' has been on hyper-active hyper-drive since birth, I have spent many hours over the past decade humming, and da-da-dumming this musical score. For three years I did not hear a word from the stand during sacrament meeting at church on Sundays because through the force I had to pin 'N's arms to his sides, crushing him against my chest, as I lured him to complacency with my well rehearsed, renditions of 'Luke's theme', 'The Rebel Fanfare', or my personal favorite - 'The Imperial March'.

Over time - other audio-visual passions have 'forced' SW from the limelight of 'N's life - Buzz Lightyear, Batman, Spiderman, Pirates of the Caribbean - but still - the love for the Star Wars Saga remains persistant and strong. I don't have to hum so much anymore - he does that all by himself - but a frequent topic of discussion in my home is 'Jedi Training School' at Disneyland. We discuss how it went, the techniques the boys learned, the costumes they wore, and when we might be able to attend again.

The Hub recently added a special download to his iphone. It is a magical program which plays Star Wars theme music. This music accompanies the simulated light saber sound effects which are activated when the user swishes his phone around the air with his best Jedi moves.

Said The Hub cheerfully to 'N' this morning:

"You can try this but if you drop my phone I will have to beat you!"

To which I replied:

"Honey - maybe any activites you plan with the kids that involve the words 'I will have to beat you' are not appropriate."

All three kids had a grand time swishing the phone to beat of 'The Imperial March' and no one dropped the phone.

No beatings today - May The Force Be With You!

Christmas Card Freebie?

2008-09-27T17:34:00.004-04:00

Every year coming up with Christmas Card ideas is a struggle for me because I like to design things on my own but I am a procrastinator by nature. I ALWAYS save the cards for the last minute, resulting in my mailing them out on about the 20th of December. This is why I am THRILLED to have discovered an offer for a Free Christmas Card design!

If you live in Utah and are in need a new family photos check out Jack and Jill Photography! The photography and prices are both amazing!

CLICK HERE FOR DETAILS ON THE CHRISTMAS CARD OFFER!

My Buddy

2008-09-26T08:39:00.013-04:00

Because I unintentionally birthed my first 2 babies just over one year apart, child number three is further in age from his older siblings. While 'A' became a big sis at the age of 1 year, 1 month, and 12 days - 'N' did not become a big brother until the age of 4 years and 4 months. 'Z' will not ever become a big brother despite his periodic questions and comments like: "when are you going to get another baby in your belly?" or "When another baby gets in your belly you will be a big fat Mom - so I won't sit on your lap!" and "When we get another baby do I have share my blankie - because I will hate that baby!".

My little guy will turn 5 next month - and because 'N' started school 4 years ago - 'Z' has been my solitary buddy and side-kick for nearly his entire life. He still has one more year until Kindergarten but is busy this year with preschool.

While dropping him off at preschool gives me the selfish pleasure of a few child free hours - I am phasing into a new time of life - which is bittersweet.

Next year I will wave goodbye to my little buddy as he leaves on the school bus with his 4th grade Big Bro. Sis will be in middle school then, which another crazy phase all together!

So - this school year I will commit to having fun with my baby. Except I will not publicly call him that as he as told me "don't call me cute things - because it is so much embarrassing!"

This year is the end of being a mom with little kids.....which brings on mixed emotions -

do I sigh wistfully,

shed a few tears,

or start planning a rockin' PARTY!?

Helping me attach new knobs to the kitchen cabinets.

Does this child:

A: have confusion with the terms 'under' and 'on'

B: misunderstand the proper use of a lawn chair

C: suffer from exhaustion during the final leg of soccer games

Showing off his sense of style - flip flops, summer p.j.'s,

and a winter coat to combat the mild rain.

This kid goes after a slice of watermelon the way that I dig into a pan of warm brownies!

Hmmmmmm - I have no words for this one.......

JUST GOTTA LOVE HIM!!!

Like Mother Like Daughter - OR - Blast From My Past

2008-09-18T07:49:00.014-04:00

During the summer of 1989 I was in between 8th and 9th grades when my family decided to take a cross country road trip so that we could participate in the Hill Cumorah Pageant.

Because I was fourteen, I had a wee bit o' attitude. Because it was the eighties, I also had a strange sense of fashion.

My trademark attitude was incredibly-uninterested-in-family-togetherness. My trademark look included a small braid going down one side of my head that was secured at the bottom with plastic pony beads and a bandanna which I rolled up and tied around my ankle. (See picture below of disinterested lounging teen with blue bandanna.)

Too bad I don't have the pic of me (and my bandanna) sitting on the sidewalk in Williamsburg, Virginia giving my photographer/Dad a look that would have landed me in my room if we had been home.

Recently I was showing 'A' my photo albums from The Hill Cumorah Pageant. She noticed my special use of the bandanna and said:

"Oh! That is SO cool! I think you have some bandanna's - can I use them to do that?"

I agreed because let's face it - I did look incredibly cool and only a very cruel mother would deprive her pre-teen daughter of this neat-o fashion oportunity.

She hasn't executed this stellar look yet but this morning she asked me to try something new with her hair. She requested a small braid on one side - secured with plastic pony beads at the bottom (she has never seen photos of me with this 'do' and I have never told her about it)! Lucky for her I have maintained my tiny-braid-pony-bead skill set, and I have many bandanas in wide array of colors as I use them to 'Aunt Jamima" my super short hair at the gym! Lucky for me she seems to have inherited my past sense of fashion, but thus far there is no indication of my past attitude.

(I will post a photo of her hair do after school - and maybe I will let her use my pink bandana as well!)

General Update and A Parental Check List For Next Weeks Soccer Marathon

2008-09-13T14:38:00.010-04:00

Before school started we spent a day in Baltimore. This was a sloppy second for the kids as we had planned on going to Busch Gardens but we had to call the 'game' on account of rain. We spent time at the Harbor, had seafood, went the the National Aquarium, and did a drive by of Charm City Cakes (for those of your familiar with Ace of Cakes).

Shopping for school necessities and supplies is becoming as expensive an event as Christmas! Thank goodness we have a great Outlet Mall in nearby Leesburg! My Dad was definitely right - it costs a lot to keep kids in shoes!

'N' and 'A' looked great for their first day back at school (3rd and 5th grade respectively). I still have one more year to hang out with 'Z' as his 5th b-day isn't until October - he is looking forward to the start of preschool and is the envy of his big bro and sis as he is still allowed to sleep in!

My friend and I went to a slammin' rally for McCain and my girl - Sarah Palin. I LOVE her - and so, by extension - I think that McCain is pretty okay too. I have much to say on the topic of our upcoming election and the suitability of the primary candidates - but that song and dance will have to wait for another post. (better photos coming soon)

Next week during our three hour stint at the soccer field I will bring the following:
1. A beach umbrella for shade
2. A cooler filled with ice, fruit, and many COLD drinks
3. Chairs for all five family members
4. Sunblock
5. A blanket to spread on the ground
6. Lunch
(I would add a battery operated fan but such a purchase would break my new goal of only buying things that are on my 'need' list)
Next week I will not:
1. Let my self nor any of my children get a sunburn
2. Have nothing to sit on but a blanket
3. Have nothing to drink but HOT water by the second hour
4. Mooch a chair off of my neighbors
5. Have three hungry, hot and tired kids

Flesh Eating Bacteria Strikes Again!

2008-09-07T21:48:00.005-04:00

Over the summer my Dad contracted a case of cellulitis. If you do not care to read the oh-so-scholarly wikipedia article I have provided as a link, know that it is an infection of the deep subcutaneous tissue of the skin caused by an invading bacteria. This is a condition that is treated quite seriously as if it goes untreated it can turn into Flesh Eating Bacteria! After several trips to the doctor, and the emergency room, I am pleased to report that my Dad recovered 100%.

Fast forward to last week, which was the first week of school for the kids. 'A' got a nasty looking spider bite behind her ear. Gradually, it began to bother her and after a few days her complaints of discomfort increased and the bite became raised, lumpy, (and pretty gross) so I took her into the doc. Though the bite looked awful, the doc (and the three others who were brought in to confer over her condition) was very concerned over a slightly reddened circle that was spreading around the bite, onto her neck and face. (This reddening was not present when I sent her to school that morning.) And what was the diagnosis? Cellulitis by spider bite!

Now she is on heavy antibiotics and is feeling fine. Poor girl!Let no one say that the Thornton's are not doing their part to wage war against Flesh Eating Bacteria!

What Did I Do Today?

2008-09-04T23:48:00.004-04:00

-Woke up at 6:30 to get the kids ready and out the door by 7:20
-Made 10 PTA posters for the Reflections Program to advertise an upcoming open house that I am in charge of
-Strategically placed said posters around the school
-Could not leave the school due to a fire drill that forced me and Z outside for 20 mins
-Went to the gym
-Made some returns to Target
-Met with my counterpart and planned two months of cub scout den meetings
-Homework with kids
-Piano practicing with kids
-Coached A's soccer team
-Coached N's soccer team
-Went to Back to School Night

(oh yeah, and made breakfast, scoured the kitchen, packed lunches, entertained Z, made more lunches, entertained Z some more, moped the floors, did a few loads of laundry, made dinner, put kids to bed......)

WHEW! Maybe I will run for V.P. of the United States in my spare time!

A Conversation With My Kids At The Local Target

2008-08-28T09:41:00.002-04:00

N: You know that disgusting thing that people do to make babies?
Me: (glancing around to see if anyone overheard) Ummmmm - yes??????
N: I hate that. Especially the part about the shower.
Me: What part about the shower?
N: You know - the disgusting part.
Me: Um - I think that you might be a little bit confused. Let's talk about this when we get home - okay?
N: I am not confused! I just hate the part about the shower!
A: You are confused! You don't do it in a shower. You do it on a bed!
Me: Okay - let's keep our voices down and discuss this at home okay?
N: Fine but I will still hate the shower part. You know. When you get naked and take a baby shower.

Parental Note: Confusion was cleared up at home - where patrons of Target were no longer within hearing distance.

Happy Birthday Sista!

2008-08-21T08:02:00.006-04:00

Yesterday was my little sister's B-Day. Can I simply say that she is one of my very best friends and likely one of the most fantabulous people on the planet? She is a stellar example of how to live life with energy - the girl knows how to have fun. She is a terrific Mom and a wonderful human being. The world is truly a better place because she is in it. I can't express in words how much I love spending time with her. In my dream life we would live next door to each other and have a grown-up girl sleepover at least once a month! Thanks B - for being a great example to me! Love You!

*Do I earn any points for having neglected a b-day phone call with this extra special blog entry?

Sha-Na-Na-Na

2008-08-17T22:14:00.023-04:00

Sha-Na-Na-Na
Hey-Hey-Hey
GOODBYE!!

I am normally not one to post pictures of myself, but I have to share.

This is me 'BEFORE'. Note the teeth.

A large gap, as shown here is known as a DIASTEMA. This has been my dental cross to bear for the past 34 years. Admittedly, I was not overly burdened by this cosmetic issue until my later years - when I became more vain.

Below you see me 'AFTER'. (In addition to admiring my new smile, please note the fab strand of ginormous pearls that the Hub just gave to lucky me - he hand selected them on his recent trip to China.)

So - good luck to these 2 offspring! I suppose that we will have to budget in some $$$$ for the issues that I have likely created for them and their developing ego's!

Homicidal Heritage

2008-08-08T12:29:00.008-04:00

Whilst enjoying the final week of our vacation at my parents cabin in Big Cottonwood Canyon the following conversation took place between 'N' and my Mom.

N: Have you ever been fishing Grandma?

G: A few times.

N: Did you ever take kids fishing?

G: Oh! One time I was camping with Heather and some of her friends and we were by a stream when a big truck pulled up and dumped a TON of fish into the water. Then the truck drove off and we didn't have any fishing poles so Heather jumped into the water and started grabbing the fish with her hands and throwing them up on the bank of the river so I grabbed a big rock and started hitting them on the head with the rock to kill them!

N: (in horror) You killed the girls?!?

G: (confused) I didn't know if they were boy fish or girl fish.....

N: (in a scared whisper) You killed the campers?

Did I mention that 'N' disables his listening skills when the answers to his question are longer than one or two words?

Did I mention that my Mom's exploits are just as hilarious as 'N's?

To answer several questions...

2008-07-20T22:38:00.005-04:00

WHERE CAN I TURN FOR PEACE?
To my in-laws who took my children for three days.

WHERE IS MY SOLACE?
Swinging in a hammock chair at dusk in my parents back yard.

The H is in Portugal (work), I just dropped the kids off in Heber, I still have two and a half more weeks of vacation...AAAHHHH!

Phases of a Vacation

2008-07-11T10:37:00.008-04:00

1. I wanted to add some info on the aforementioned camping trip, which to quote my sister Becca was actually more akin to 'staying outdoors in small quarters' than actual camping. My in laws love to recreate, they love to take road trips but they also love creature comforts. So our camping trip was made possible by their two trailers, one of which was a pop out variety complete with a sofa, two recliners, closets, and a kitchen table (in the fully functioning kitchen)! In fact, the trailer was so nice that we were required to remove our shoes upon entry. We were also equipped with bathrooms (including showers) in each trailer, and to top it all off - a satellite dish. It was defiantly my kind of camping! Thanks Phil and Judy!

2. Matt and I spent a day and a night at a great resort in Midway, Utah called the Zermatt. It was FABULOUS! Great restaurants, fabulous pool, beautiful grounds.....and no kids!

3. After the camping, we spent 2 days with our good friends, Jim and Reina Detjen who are always generous and welcoming when we come into town. They are also connoisseurs of fine food, which the provide daily. Thanks guys!

4. CALIFORNIA! After living in So Cal from 2000-2004 I am a beach junkie. I love the ocean, the sun and the sand. I love that my kids can entertain them selves all day without any sort of electronics. I love exploring tide pools and helping my kids search for shells. I love playing in the ocean and ducking the waves. I love that my kids are old enough that I can read a book while catching some rays. I love the beach! I will have to make a trip to the Atlantic when we get back to VA in August. Any takers on a day trip?

5. St. George was a convenient stop on the way back from CA. My parents have a house there so my and my sister Becca partied there for a few days. And by party I mean that we entertained my three, and her four kids. It was WAY too hot to do anything besides go to the pool. But we did manage to squeeze in a musical at Tuachan, an outdoor theater in the canyon (The Sound Of Music - or as 'Z' calls it: Musical Sounds), and to take the kids on a few rides on an old tandem bike. Becca and I also made a midnight run to the local grocery store on said bicicyle to purchase some -ahem - feminine products.

Now we are back at my parents house, near Hogle Zoo and the University of Utah, and what will we do for the rest of our vacation? Swim in their pool, stay a few nights at the cabin in Brighton Canyon, swim, shop the Foothill Village 24th of July sidewalk sale, swim..............I'll try not to get tired of this vacation thing!

WHAT THE KIDS ARE SAYING:
(There was a debate between my boys over the appropriate titles for the 'ladies dressed in black' in the Sound of Music. 'Z' claimed that they were called Num's, and 'N' argued that they were called Nim's)
"When are the Nazi's going to get here!" (Said by 'N' in frustration over another love song in the musical)

Least We Travel Without Drama....

2008-06-25T13:08:00.002-04:00

As we packed to leave - I neglected to remember the 'no liquids on airplanes' rules. So - when the kids asked if they could fill their brand-spanking-new water bottles for the trip I acquiesced. Consequently, as we went through airport security I was told to throw the three water bottles away as there was no way to simply dispose of the liquid. My kids were audibly distraught over loosing their newly acquired water bottles with a handy-dandy freezable core, so.....I chug-a-lugged 24 ounces of water to get us through security.

After the water debacle, 'N' started complaining that his shorts were too tight. When I investigated the cause we came to discover that this size 8-9 boy was wearing his brother's size 4 shorts. (Adding to the problem was the fact that I had taken the shorts in by about three inches to fit skinny little 'Z'!)

'N' then started complaining that his carry-on backpack was WAY too heavy. Upon this investigation I discovered that he had packed nothing but hardcover books!

**Fast forward a few days where we found ourselves visiting my sister in Logan, UT. We decided to take a tubing trip down the canal adjacent to the Logan River. Lest you think that this would be cool refreshment on a hot day, bear in mind that the river and canal are running with recently melted snow, making the water temperature numbingly cold.

We started the trip with 4 adults: (Me, Mom, Heather (my sister), and Jenny (sister's room-mate) and the three kids. We purchased 5 tubes for the trip, placing two kids in a tube with two adults. Whilst floating down the frigid canal, 'N' (in his own tube) did his best to keep all of his body parts out of the H20. If you are familiar with 'the plank' (a strength building technique for the core) you can imagine what 'N' looked like atop his tube. It came as no surprise that as he was attempting to change positions, he fell into the canal, causing us much merriment, which we tried to ebb as he had cut his knee on a rock. Shortly thereafter, his tube popped and he went into the canal again. (And we did our best to hide our amusement!)

THEN - Heather's tube popped, Jenny and 'A's tube popped, and the three of them had to bush whack down the mountain and scale a fence to get back to the parking lot. The rest of us: Mom with 'N' and me with 'Z', made it to the end with 'Z' (who was in mortal fear of more tube pop-age) fretting the entire way.

Fast forward a few more days: we just returned from a camping trip to Daniel's Summit - above the Heber Valley. Other than a few issues with fire safety, and several insanely large insect bites we are unscathed!

Arrivederci!

2008-06-17T18:56:00.007-04:00

One final post before our departure -

When moving to VA last summer we were fortunate to find a great neighborhood. Here are some pics of the end-of-the-school-year party down the street! The festivities began when the kids arrived home on the bus at 2:45. We left at 5:00 for a piano lesson but the party was still going strong. The 'H' has to work tonight but there will be BBQ-ing and continued fun into the evening. What a great place to live!

'N' declared war against a group of girls and proceeded to soak - and be soaked.

'A' with friends.

'Z' spent the whole afternoon with the giant bubble blowers.

Catch Up With My Life

2008-06-16T20:56:00.018-04:00

I have neglected my blog up-keep as of late and as school is out tomorrow, and we are off to spend a couple of weeks in Utah, I thought that I should get caught up with the current household happenings.

Here is 'A' - looking a little....colonial. She went on a field trip to Waterford, a one room school house from the 1800's. All of the kids dress, and acted to part. Do I even need to say how cool of a field trip this was? What a cutie!

'N' earned his Wolf and a bunch of patches, belt loops, and pins at May's pack meeting. He is a great kid, and we are proud of all of the work he has done! Way to go 'N'!

Here is a photo that will likely be used to embarrass 'Z' in some sort of photographic montage that will be displayed when he gets married. Either that or it could be used in some form of future blackmail.

Who is that mustachioed man? Oh yes - the one that we will embarrass and blackmail!

We took a day off school to experience Gettysburg, PA with my brother and his family who were in town for a short visit. Unfortunately, I do not have any pics of them....and so here we are at the site where President Lincoln delivered the Gettysburg Address.

'N' greatly enjoys his chore of watering the 'plants'. He is always able to find a way to make things for fun for him, and more lively for the rest of us.

'Z' graduated from preschool, passing all subjects with flying colors. He is too smart for his (or my) own good! Congrats buddy!

And now - only time will tell if I am able to blog whilst out-of-town! Adios to all - unless you live in Utah - in which case - see you soon!

Thank You Leslie Blodgett

2008-06-08T12:07:00.012-04:00

For your cosmetic product line.

I started wearing Bare Escentuals Mineral Make-Up in January.

A Christmas gift to myself.

For the past six months I have loved it.

But now I realize.

It is - in fact - Escentual.

And this is why:

Friends come to visit.

From Utah to the Nations Capitol.

I schlep my kids into D.C.

Despite the fact that the thermostat reads 99 degrees.

And humidity is off the charts.

The air we breathe is heavy, hot and moist.

The kids whine and cry because it is so insanely hot, hot, hot.

And our water bottles have long since been drained.

My hair becomes flat, stringy, style-less and damp.

And the sweat soaks my clothes - which do not dry.

And the sweat pools in my shoes in little puddles. (Crocs)

And the sweat pours from all of my pores.

Dripping from my flesh onto the sidewalk.

But though my face is dripping wet.

My mineral make-up stays in place.

Moral of the story:

On such days I will have to stay in-doors.

With the A/C happily blowing.

Keeping my mineral enhanced face cool and dry.

Unless someone else comes to visit.

Because for friends and family, I will schlep again.

Despite the oppressive weather.

But I will bring a Costo-sized flat of water.

And I will wear a hat.

Until September.

To The 'H'

2008-06-01T19:35:00.005-04:00

You deserve a big fat thanks for all of the additional help that you have been providing me of late. A month ago, I neglected to blog thank you for taking time off of work to watch the kids while I had a weekend away with the girls. So - sorry about my delinquent expression of blog-rattitude. Now, for the past two weeks you have sacrificed a lot to provide me with some much needed assistance! Let it not be said that I was remiss in expressing my appreciation for your most recent and plentiful good deeds. I will also at this time credit you with bringing so much humor into our home. I love to laugh - and you provide us all with more than ample opportunity. Much Grass!

Memorial Day with the VA boys

2008-05-27T07:43:00.012-04:00

Yesterday, the H took our boys into D.C. for some Memorial Day observances. They picked up H's cousin John, then went to visit Grandpa's burial site in Arlington National Cemetery. Grandpa was in the Navy for 20 years. He survived the attack at Pearl Harbor and also fought in the Korean War. We are a very proud of his service to our country. At 'N's request, they also stopped by the Marine War Memorial which depicts the conquering of Mount Serabachi in Iwo Jima. Our family is inspired by the men and women who serve our country - past and present. God Bless America, and especially those who serve.

Happy Birthday to a Beautiful Girl

2008-05-17T10:30:00.005-04:00

Today is my oldest child's birthday. She hit a landmark this morning - turning double digits - the big one-o. (Which means that I also hit a landmark - one decade of being a Mom!) How I love this girl! She is truly a top notch, quality individual, whom I am lucky to have in my life. She is an honest, respectful, kind, helpful, obedient, hard working, sweet natured, goal oriented girl who is an example of what is right to everyone around her. I am so fortunate to have been blessed with such a child. She is growing up - too fast - but I can't wait to see what great things she will accomplish as this process continues!

Happy Birthday 'A'!

Mother's Day Memories

2008-05-11T21:00:00.012-04:00

With the H out of town the kids did a bang up job of making me feel special today. A made a sign out of cardboard, hung it up on the glass window and set the table with all of the kids cards and gifts. By gifts I mean the fabulous things that had been made for me at school, as well as a few items from Target that I gave the kids $$ for purchasing.

From A: a handmade picture frame embellished with gold jewels holding a picture of her beautiful face and a mini wallet.

From N: a paper bouquet, a bouquet made out of Hershey kisses, and peppermint foot lotion.

From Z: A card with removable paper flowers and hot pink nail polish.

A few notable experts from my cards -

From Z: (in a fill in the blank card) - My mother is 42 years old (wow, I nearly lost a decade on that one). My mother's favorite thing to do is clean the dishes(ummmm....right). I love it when my Mother cooks me meat (and I love to cook it for him).

From N: (fill in the blank chore coupons) This coupon is good for a big hug. This coupon is good for a good hug. This coupon is good for a great hug. (An accurate display of his dislike for work).

From A: (a poem)

If Mom were in charge of the world,

She'd make everyone obey her, she'd want everyone to be helpful, and she would not want to be "angry mom".

If Mom was in charge of the world,

She'd make everyone complete his or her chore chart, make us help others with everything, and she'd get a bigger kitchen.

She would get free haircuts

Make us not ask for ANYTHING at the store.

If Mom were in charge of the world, her favorite treat would be a vegetable.

And when she calls me ALLISON!

And I get in trouble

She would still be allowed to be

THE GREATEST MOM EVER!!!

In charge of the world.

(When did this child start taking so many notes on my parenting?)

I had a GREAT day with three GREAT kids! They are truly fantastic individuals who do their best in everything. I can't believe how lucky I am to have them!

Melodrama and Son

2008-05-08T16:03:00.003-04:00

I was shopping the sale rack at Kohl's today, with my 4 year old tag-a-long when my phone rang. It was one of my best friends so I talked to her for a while. I did my best to multi-task while balancing a pile of sale items, herding a small boy (who was not thrilled about shopping), and keeping up the phone conversation. After talking to my friend I dropped my phone, supposedly into my purse, got in line to pay for my purchases, and left the store. After making sure that the kiddo (who was overly grateful to leave the store) was buckled up, I took off. Suddenly, I remember that I needed to get some information to one of my sisters. So I stopped the car before leaving the parking lot and went to grab my phone. It was gone! Slightly frantic, I hurried back to the store. And here was my inner thought process:

*A year ago some degenerate smashed my husbands car window to snatch his cell phone which was laying on the console so surely my phone was gone for good!

*My i-phone is my calendar, my i-pod, my calculator, my grocery lists, my phone numbers...................and it is in a pretty pink case!

*What a find for the dishonest person who would surely pick it up from the floor. The JERK!

*I would probably find the pink case discarded on the floor by the jerk who stole it!

*I would defiantly have to down grade now - since I can not be trusted with such an expensive phone!

*Now for mother's day I will have to get a new phone, instead of something else that I actually could use.....

*I will have to go back to a paper calendar - I HATE paper calendars......

*I can't believe how dishonest some people are!

*I know some people in law enforcement and when I find my pink case, I can maybe get them to finger print it so see if the criminal who swiped my phone is in the system.....

Z was not happy about getting dragged, at a rapid pace, back through the store. As I re-traced my steps, eyeballing with suspicion every person that walked past me, this was his monologue:

*Your phone is lost now because you are not responsible.

*If you would be more careful your things will not get lost.

*We will never find the phone and we will be looking all day, and all night. We will get locked in here and have to sleep in the store. And I don't know if they have night-lights here but they definitely do not have my blankie.

*No one will meet N and A after school and they will be scared and we will be stuck in a store.

*We will be stuck in a store for three days! And we will die if we don't have food or water for three days you know!

And then, after searching in vain for the pink case on the floor, sure that I would never see my beloved phone again, and repeatedly assuring Z that we were not going to starve to death in Kohl's, I went to the customer service desk, as a last ditch effort. I was sure at that point that my fears had been realized. Some jerk had stolen my phone.

And there is was, lying on the back counter, behind the customer service representative, still in it's pink case.

So, thank you to the honest person who turned my phone into customer service. Thank you for reminding me that good a decent people are all around us.

And how in the world did my 4 year old pick up the little tidbit about human starvation?

Just To Even The Score

2008-05-06T07:59:00.006-04:00

Before I get too generous with the bestowal of points for Virginia (see previous post) I must take into account a phenomenon that we have never before experienced. ALLERGIES. Everyone in the family is suffering in one way or another, due to record high pollen levels. It is not unusual for me to find my car coated in a fine but visible layer of pollen when it has been parked outside. I figure that if we can actually see the air born pollens, what we are breathing must be bad. This is Z (who has been effected the most). He has a chapped face, gets bloody noses, has swollen/oozing eyes/itchy eyes.......and that is after he has taken Zyrtec for a week. We are off to the doc for a prescription!

Score One For Virginia

2008-04-30T18:43:00.010-04:00

Spring in the mountains of Utah, where we used to reside, was usually chilly, often cold, and not uncommonly snowy. It would, in fact, routinely snow in April and May. Sadly - even in June we could be surprised by a rogue dusting of white stuff! Though I miss my home state and family/friends that live there, spring in Virginia has some definite advantages.

This is the tree in our front yard. I wish that I had snapped the pic when it was in full bloom, it was gorgeous! Now our lawn is covered with what Z calls 'pink snow'. Above A is enjoying the weather with her friend, and anyone who knows Z will understand that laying in a bed of pink flowers made his day!

Work Out Songs

2008-04-25T17:23:00.003-04:00

So I need a larger repertoire of motivational work out songs. My favorites are:

I Will Survive - Gloria Gaynor

I'm Gonna Be (500 Miles) - Proclaimers

Eye of the Tiger - Survivor

I Won't Back Down - Tom Petty

Suddenly I See - KT Tunstall

Move Along - All American Rejects

The Middle - Jimmy Eat World

Just Can't Get Enough - Depeche Mode

What are yours?

My New Theme Song

2008-04-23T13:57:00.012-04:00

Otherwise known as the dieter's anthem:

*note: for musical accompaniment select Gloria Gaynor's 'I Will Survive' from my playlist on the bottom right!

First I was afraid

I was petrified (of the upcoming bathing suit season)

Kept thinking I could never live

Without you by my side (chocolate)

But then I spent so many nights (and days)

Thinking how you did me wrong (inner thighs, belly, etc..)

And I grew strong

And I learned how to get along

And so you're back (because the neighbor brought over cookies)

From outer space

I just walked in to find you here (in my kitchen because I was saving you for kids)

With that sad look upon (my) face

I should have changed that stupid lock (bad neighbor!)

I should have made you leave your key (okay, good neighbor - bad cookies)

If I had known for just one second

You'd be back to bother me

Go on now go

Walk out the door (in the trash bag that I threw you in - the kids won't know)

Just turn around now

'Cause you're not welcome anymore

Weren't you the one

Who tried to hurt me with goodbye

You'd think I'd crumble (like one of those gooey chocolate chip cookies)

You'd think I'd lay down and die

Oh no, not I

I will survive

As long as I know how to love (eating those vegetables)

I know I'll feel alive

I've got all my life to live

I've got all my love to give (to health/weight conscious choices)

And I'll survive

I will survive

HEY HEY

It took all the strength I had

Not to fall apart (on the stair master at the gym)

Kept trying hard to mend

The pieces of my broken heart (and those inner thighs, belly, etc..)

And I spent oh so many nights (and days)

Just feeling sorry for myself

I used to cry

But now I hold my head up high (even though I go to the gym with no make-up and a bandana to hide my bed head)

And you see me

Somebody new

I'm not that chained up little (or average sized) person

Still in love with you (really I still am)

And so you felt like dropping in (remember, good neighbor - bad cookies)

And just expect me to be free

Now I'm saving all my loving

For someone who's loving me (carrots - sigh....)

GO ON NOW GO

Walk out the door

Just turn around now

'Cause you're not welcome anymore

Weren't you the one

Who tried to break me with goodbye

You'd think I'd crumble (and get the cookies out of the trash - which I considered - instead of going to the gym)

You think I'd lay down and die (on the third rep of overhead lifts)

Oh not, not I

I will survive

As long as I know how to love (the benefits of working out)

I know I'll feel alive

I've got all my life to live (and build up more that child-like muscle endurance)

I've got all my love to give (to a new pair of skinny pants -which I will buy as soon as they fit)

And I'll survive

I will survive

The Down Side of Broccolli

2008-04-21T21:05:00.005-04:00

I love steamed green vegetables. With lots of ICBNB butter spray. Lately this sustenance has become a 'snack' for me - as I am trying to be more health conscious. The upside of snacking on vegetables has been that none of my offspring wishes to share with me. I don't know about other Mom's but I become overly aggravated when I fix myself a plate/bowl/dish of something and my half hound-dog kids come sniffing about and ask for a bite. (It is my food, and I don't want to share!). Sadly, vegetables are no longer a 'safe' dish. Today, I fixed myself a big plate of steamed broccoli. I was excited to sit down and 'enjoy' it when the kids came running. Two of the three saw what I was about to eat and excitedly asked to have some because they love it so much. Now don't get me wrong - I am happy that my kids are excited about eating their vegetables, HOWEVER, now instead of hiding my M&M's from them I will have to hide my broccoli.

High Cholesterol?

2008-04-17T07:55:00.005-04:00

Yesterday, the diagnosis of High Cholesterol blind-sighted me. Your initial impression may be that at 34, I am too young to suffer from this medical malady. You are right. Which makes it all the more strange that I am not the one who has it. It is my 4 year old son! Before you think that my poor nutritional provisions are the cause, please know that no one else in the family has ever suffered from 'cholesterolic' problems. And so, little Z has been put on doctor recommended breakfast plan of oatmeal and cherrios.

Ladies and Gentlemen, I give you the new face of High Cholesterol......

March in Review

2008-04-12T00:28:00.010-04:00

Yes, I realize that it is mid-April, but.............

The Blue and Gold Banquet for Cub Scouts took up A LOT of time - N was excited to finally get the awards that he had earned last fall. He was not excited to eat the dinner as it went along with the theme 'chineese new year'. He despises most dinner-time foods that are not: macaroni and cheese, buttered noodles, or some type of bread product.

Decorating cakes for the Elementary School Cake Walk was a priority for N and A. We had fun coming up with the designs, and the kids quite enjoyed sampling their medium.

Girl Scout cookies were the bane of my existence as I ignorantly signed up to be the Troop Cookie Manager. (Don't scoff you westerners, in the East, Girl Scouts are all the rage.) Had I know that I was signing up for a part time job with cookie sales, I may have been more reluctant to volunteer my services. To sum up the experience in one word: UGH!

Kid Quotes For the Month:

Z: Can you just teach me everthing about Jesus so I can stop going to church?

A: I didn't think that I would see a butt in Jamestown!

N: I never knew my parents were the meanest ones on the street.

A: Grandpa got a new car? What is he going to do with his old one? Maybe save it for his oldest grandchild for when she gets her drivers license?

Z: Oh look a cute dog! And an ugly girl with it.

N: I need new tires. (me: what?) You know, the shoes, the kind with ties?

The West Wing

2008-04-06T19:21:00.020-04:00

Thank you, Secret Service Agent X.

Thank you, for the comprehensive tour of the West Wing.

Also, thank you for offering my fidgety children some chewing gum to help them cope with the slowly moving tour group in front of us.

Yes, thank you for kindly thinking of three young children.

But perhaps chewing gum is not the best distraction for a child.

Especially a child of 4.

So please apologize to the President of the United States.

Or to whomever has to scrape the gum off the carpet in front of the Oval Office.

But like I said, Thank You!

Today, we had a fantastic and informative experience touring the West Wing of the White House with the Hub's cousin John, who lives nearby, and my sister Heather who is here for a fun-fun visit. The Hub is traveling again, otherwise he would have conducted the tour - and likely not have offered any gum. Aside from the now infamous 'trident fiasco', and being kindly kicked out of the rose garden in order for the first family's dog's to have some outdoors time, it was FANTASTIC!

*I actually removed most of the sticky substance myself - and have resolved to stick (ha-ha) to the 'you-may-only-chew-gum-while-sitting-at-the-kitchen-table' rule.

Happy Hair Cut!

2008-04-04T07:56:00.007-04:00

After reading my friend Audrey's recent post, and then my blog friend Shauna's post, I had a thought: which will now follow -

Like many women, I struggle with body image issues and weight loss. I am not a giantess, in need of surgical or professional intervention, I am simply one of those who would like to loose 10 (or more) pounds. I am also simply one of those that does not loose weight - because I like my treats (and other good foods but sugar is the primary culprit).

I am also the type of person who wishes to benefit from immediate gratification, which goes well with my desires to sample tasty snacks but is quite inharmonious with my desires to loose some poundage.

One solution to my lack-of-weight-loss depression, I have found, is a really great hair cut and color. I look better, right away (provided I go to a trusted professional), and so I feel better about myself.

And I have found the perfect stylist to fix my neurosis.

Every time I go in she chats up a storm - mainly about how great I am.

I tell her a story - she goes on and on about how funny I am. She tells me about an issue in her life, I offer my 2 cents on her situation - she goes on and on about how smart I am. She tells me how beautiful my eyes are, how great my skin is, how she likes my shoes, my purse....etc. Even if I show up in my work-out gear she tells me how cute and 'sporty' I look and asks me about my exercise regiment - then goes on and on about how smart I am to fit exercise in to my busy life, and on and on about how fit I must be and about how cute I will be at the gym with my new Do.

And most importantly - she tells me that I am looking thin. She never makes a direct comment about it - no, she is crafty and knows that it will sound superficial. She saves this compliment and slides into the conversation in different places, never dewlling on the topic, glossing over how fabulous my body is, and the she moves artfully on to her next battery of compliments.

And so - in short - I love my stylist. As much as I love cocoa almonds from Trader Joes, or a cheeburger cheeburger mint oreo shake, or those chocolate m&m's pretzles from.....well - never mind.....

The point is, whenever I am down about my physical appearance, an appointment to go see my stylist provides a quick mood fix. I come out feeling like a million bucks - every time. I don't know how her other clients feel - but she sure gets a generous tip from me - the girl is my motivator, my life coach, my therapy. And gives me a good cut and color to boot.

'bad' Mommy

2008-04-03T22:11:00.006-04:00

I had one of 'those' moments tonight. The kind when in my head I am telling myself "shut up before you say something you might regret" but my mouth has a mind of it's own.

Early this morning I had placed a picture on my 4 year old son's bed. I was moving it from one wall to another, but the phone rang, life got busy, and I forgot about it. Later in the evening, after an incredibly demanding and stressful afternoon (pre-school drop off, homework, preschool pick up, an hour of rowdy boy scouts, fast dinner, football practice, homework, piano practicing - and particularly whiny kids at every turn) I was on my last thread of patience and supposed sanity.

So when my son called from upstairs that he was 'sorry but he broke the glass in my picture', I kind of snapped.

I ran up the stairs, ignoring my awareness that the incident was entirely my fault, and got mad at my innocent little boy for breaking the glass in the picture.

Thankfully, tonight, his wisdom was greater than my own. He looked at me in my frantic 'mom -has-just-snapped' mode and said without batting an eye.

"Maybe you should have put that picture in a place where I couldn't touch it. Then it would have been just fine."

To which I replied.....well....I had no reply. He was right. And we both knew it.

I am grateful tonight for 'Z'. He has taught me a lesson - which hopefully I will readily recall the next time I am in a maniacal state. So here is to my renewed efforts to keep my mouth from spewing out emotion that has more to do with my own stresses than anything else that may be happening at the time.

NEW YORK CITY

2008-03-31T08:10:00.010-04:00

For a stay-at-home Mom, very few things can beat the indulgence of a girls trip. And a girls trip to New York City is, perhaps, one of the best locations for said excursion! I returned late last night from a fun-fun three day jaunt to the Big Apple with some friends. The highlights were:

Pasta in Little Italy - yum

Rice to Riches (rice pudding bar) - yummier

'WICKED' at the Gershwin Theater - wicked cool

Ground Zero - sad and inspiring

Shopping on Canal Street - slightly scary

Breakfast in Grand Central Station - super fun

Grilled Ham and Gruyere Sandwich in Soho - too good for words

Shopping on 5th Avenue - lots of walking

Dinner at the Starlight - lots of singing

The Statue of Liberty - looked good from a distance

Times Square - up late at night

AND....a lot of goofy girl time.

Beyond the fun and adventure, this trip was to celebrate with my cousin. She has just courageously completed a brutal round of chemotherapy after being diagnosed with breast cancer. Through watching her go through this this ordeal, I have been awed and amazed by her courage and positive attitude in the face of great trial, as well as the depth of her testimony of a loving Heavenly Father.

So - here is to my cousin, beating breast cancer, and next year's trip to NYC with the girls! After that much fun we have got to make it an annual adventure!

Or biannual...possibly even quarterly............

Chickeny!

2008-03-26T22:26:00.004-04:00

Today I took 'Z' to lunch at Wendy's for an oh-so nutritious kids meal.

The following is his description of how to make a chicken nugget.

"First you stab the chicken. Then cut the chicken. Then pull the chicken out of the feathers. Then you get the nugget shells. You put the chicken in it. You make it brown. You make it yummy."

He then took a big bite and said, "Mmmmmm. Nuggets are chickeny."

Part of the reason that I found this so amusing was that his carnivorous musings are in stark contrast to the feelings he recently expressed towards members of the animal kingdom. (The following text is from my spring break blog of a few days ago.)

'Z' cracked us up when we went into a Powhatan hut and found a large pile of animal pelts

Z: (In shock and horror, with tears in his eyes) Who has done this!?

Me: (brief explanation of the many reasons that Native Americans needed to use animals)

Z: (tearful and horrified) Is this a puppy?

Me: (trying not to laugh) No, it might be a fox.

Z: (alarmed) A cute little fox?

Me: (quickly) Maybe it's a deer.

Z: (tearing up) Not a deer!

I believe that his environmental emotions are spent only on the furry members of the animal kingdom. Chickens, are not so lucky.

He has also expressed great dislike for piranhas.

Easter

2008-03-24T22:19:00.012-04:00

At our house, Easter morning is always quite low key. Like my sister Becca, I do not really care for the Easter Bunny. There is something about a large rabbit bringing treats and hiding eggs (where is the connection?) that is not really up to the sacred snuff of what this holiday is all about. I think that the year I really turned on the rabbit was when he started showing up in the mall for kids to sit on his lap, get their picture taken, and tell him what they wanted for Easter. I am not an Easter scrooge - the kids get a few treats, we dye eggs and all, but none of this "what do you want for Easter" nonsense.

That being said, the highlight of our secular celebration was watching 'N' eat his 'Bernie Botts Every Flavor Beans'. Included in the box was: Soap, Grass, Vomit, Booger, Bacon, Pepper, Dill Pickle, Ear Wax, Sardine, and Sausage.

Wherein the Family Vacations

2008-03-23T21:42:00.018-04:00

Spring Break:

A joyous event for mother and offspring. Where they have a week free from school attendance/homework, and I have a week free from early mornings and the after school shuffle. The Hub and I decided to take the fam to Williamsburg VA, (with some family friends), for a couple of days to appropriately commemorate our first Virginian Spring Break.

Day 1:

We drove about 3 hours and kicked off the festivities at Colonial Williamsburg, the long ago capitol of VA. 'A', 'N', and 'Z' indicated that rather than experiencing any sort of living colonial history, they preferred to run willy-nilly through the replicated streets with their friends. For 'Z' and his buddy, throwing small rocks into sewer grates that were strategically located every 20 feet was a highlight.

This is when family fun (forced learning) should have taken place, but it was lunch time, children and men were hungry, so we went to eat.

We also visited Yorktown - the site of the final battle of the American Revolution.

Day 2:

In planning our trip, we found a deal: 3 nights and 4 days + 2 tickets to Busch Gardens for under $200.00. This made our room practically free. (Except for the 90 minute vacation ownership presentation we had to attend.) Excuse me, did I say 90 minutes? Maybe if my hub had just listened and said 'no thanks' we would have kept it to the allotted time. Instead, he talked more than the sales guy. He lectured on fiscal conservatism. He lectured on purchasing things that we don't really 'need'. He debated the definition of 'need'. He lectured on living within our means and how the current national economic situation is a direct result of people making poor financial choices. When told that people in France vacation more than people in the US, making their marriages stronger and their lives happier/more carefree, the hub lectured on the dismal state of the French economy. There was also a lively debate on the precise cost/benefit analysis of vacation ownership. All 'discussions' were good spirited - and long.

Note to self: 1-I will always pay full price for vacation accommodations, thusly avoiding a never-ending sales pitch/fiscal debate. 2-My hub has a surprisingly strong grasp of the minutiae of the French economy. Historic Jamestown with the kids was by far, a preferable experience.

Day 3:

Busch Gardens was fun-fun for the whole family. It was here that 'N' tried to impress us with his newly acquired skill of speaking German - which went something like this:

"Doooooo youuuuuu liiiiiike meeeeaahhh shpeeeeeaaaakinnnng geeeeermaaaaan?"

It was technically English, with a thick slurred sort of 'accent'. Kind of like the chef from the Muppets. Or Jerry Sienfeld saying 'hellllooooooooo'.

'Z' mourned his height which was 'not fair for the good rides!'

The Hub was a good sport and went on all rides - even though he gets motion sickness.

'A' and I LOVED the big coasters (big thumbs up for the Griffon and Alpengeist)!

Day 4:

We visited the Jamestown settlement before heading home. It was fantastic. There was a recreated Powhatan Village, the Jamestown Fort, and the three ships that the colonists arrived on. 'Z' cracked us up when we went into a Powhatan hut and found a large pile of animal pelts

Z: (In shock and horror, with tears in his eyes) Who has done this!?

Me: (brief explanation of the many reasons that Native Americans needed to use animals)

Z: (still tearful) Is this a puppy?

Me: (trying not to laugh) No, it might be a fox.

Z: (alarmed) A cute little fox?

Me: (quickly) Maybe it's a deer.

Z: (tearing up) Not a deer!

We spent much time discussing the needs of the Powhatan people, which he seemed to understand but later on when we walked through the museum and saw a life sized replica of a native man, aiming his bow and arrow at a deer this is what ensued:

Z: (angry) This is the man that did it!

N: (loudly) Ha-ha! That woman's butt is showing! (Native Man's wife - who was indeed bare in back)

Me: 'N', don't say the word 'butt' so loud. 'Z', remember we talked about how these people needed animals for food and clothing.

N: (Yelling) Hey 'A'! Come over here and see this girls butt!

Z: (Shaking his head) This man is bad. VERY bad.

A: I didn't think that I would see a butt at Jamestown.

Me either.

After lunch at Chick-fil-a, we drove across the road to the gas station to fill up. The Hub purchased a car wash (a bird had left it's mark on 'A's window while we ate). Upon pulling around the back of the service station, we found ourselves to be 10th in line. Another car pulled behind us, boxing us in. And so we sat. For 35 minutes till we got up the to wash. When entering our pre-purchased code, the machine indicated the code was invalid. So I had to run around the building, enter the station to get a new code, and run back to the car. I made it right as the vehicle in front of us was pulling out. 40 minutes after entering the line, we got into the car wash. THEN, right as the dryers kicked up, 'Z' announced: "Good thing we are done here - I need to go number 2." So, we drove back across the street to the Chick-fil-a (clean bathrooms) so he could do his business. In the end, it took us ONE HOUR from finishing lunch, to get on the road.

Thanks to my Hub and my awesome kids - for a fun filled trip with lots of laughs! Now, the post-vacation laundry!

Twelve Years Ago

2008-03-17T13:37:00.010-04:00

The year? 1996.

And just what was happening in the world?

Both Russia and America re-elected their leaders: Boris Yeltsin was re-elected Russian leader and Bill Clinton was re-elected US president, beating rival Bob Dole.....Right-winger Binyamin Netanyahu was narrowly elected Israel's prime minister.....

National elections were held peacefully in recently war-torn Bosnia.....The divorce of Prince Charles and Princess Diana was confirmed by England's High Court, dissolving the Royal couple's 15 year marriage....The US city of Atlanta hosted the summer Olympic Games. But a bomb stole headlines from the sporting achievements, exploding in the Olympic Park on July 27, killing one and injuring many.....A U.S military base in Saudi Arabia was bombed, killing 19 U.S serviceman.....We also saw the high profile arrest and charging of Ted Kaczynski, the notorious serial 'Unabomber'.....TWA Flight 800 exploded over Long Island, New York, killing 230 people (more people were killed on commercial flights in 1996 than any other year to date).

AND

I married my other half on March 16th during spring break! (Which was significant as we were both students at the University of Utah at the time.)

We went into D.C. on Saturday night to celebrate at Mio - A posh restaurant in the District. We know the chef, which made the night even more special because he kept sending us samples of different things to try. The Hub had Grilled Duck Marget with caramelized pear and I had roasted quail with pesto risotto. Delicious! What a great way to celebrate!

My Son, The Artist

2008-03-14T22:19:00.013-04:00

N has established himself in the family as a budding artist.

This crayon on paper piece has been titled -

THE CANNON

I wonder what he will be shooting out of it.........Hmmmm.

Epiphany!

2008-03-12T19:12:00.015-04:00

In 1999 a pop soliloquy by Baz Luhrman was all the rage on the airways. It was called 'Everybody's Free (To Wear Sunscreen), or The Sunscreen Song. The 'song' originated as an essay called 'Advice, Like Youth, Probably Just Wasted On The Young', and was published in a newspaper. One haunting line from the essay/song that I have always remembered was:

"Enjoy the power and beauty of your youth. Oh, never mind. You will not understand the power and beauty of your youth until they've faded."

I thought of this line today, when after school I presented my 9 year old daughter with a snack. Earlier, I had spied an unopened box of Samoa's Girl Scout Cookies. Knowing that they are my daughters favorite - I pulled them out and offered them to my kids when they got home. Usually after school snacks in my house are bananas, carrot sticks, apple slices, and the like. Consequently, when offered a sugary treat over a healthy snack, my daughter was delighted.

The joy and excitement that this girl had over an unexpected favorite cookie was incredible. She jumped up and down, squealed, thanked me profusely, and said, "I was going to tell you that today was kind of a bad day, but now it is the best day ever!"

Watching her revel in the chocolatey chewy goodness, it occurred to me, that I could not remember the last time that I was as excited over anything. I will openly admit that I am a bit of a 'grass is always greener' kind of girl. I would not label myself as a pessimist, but I often think - when THIS happens, THEN life will be better and I will consequently be more satisfied. (While many different factors cause these thoughts, financial desires and body image issues take a front seat in my when/then frame of mind.)

I am well aware that this mode of thinking is not helpful or wise, but it must be ingrained in my psyche - because it frequently happens.

As I observed my daughter I had a dual reaction. I couldn't help but grin at her delight, but I also wistfully thought about the power and beauty of youth. Two Girl Scout Cookies had made the girl's day and changed her attitude. Certainly, I thought, nothing so simple could ever do the same for me.

Through out the afternoon, I thought - how beautiful, how powerful, would it be for life to be so simple?

As an at-home Mom, I worry. About many things: my dirty bathrooms, what I will make for dinner, cleaning the house, getting laundry done, carpool runs, keeping the peace between offspring, homework, neighbors, church work, doing acts of service for my kids and husband. The list goes on, and on, and on.

But I have no quick fix to my worries. I could (and sometimes do) eat two (or more) cookies, which might satisfy my sweet tooth, but I know that once consumed, they will end up on my thighs. And then I will worry about my weight and about going to the gym the next day to make up for exceeding my daily caloric allotment.

And I would tell my self that when I loose 10 pounds, then I will be satisfied.

I reflected on the differences between my daughter's outlook and my own for most of the day - thinking that the ballad set to music by Baz Luhrman was awfully prophetic.

Once the kids were in bed, however, when I had time to clear my head of the business of the day, something occurred to me. I realized that while feeling wistful about not appreciating my own youth, (alright 30 something is not THAT old, but it IS a far cry from 9) my initial reaction to the earlier event was to smile - in fact I had my own brief moment of joy. I had felt content, peaceful, like all was right in my world because for a moment I witnessed my child's delight. And then I let it go to think about all of my worries.

Tonight I finally realized Baz just might be wrong. Surely, my youth has faded, but I am continually privileged to enjoy the power and beauty of the youth of my children - which is one of the most satisfying feelings I could imagine.

Do you know what my epiphany means? Despite all my 'grown-up' worries, something as simple as cookies can make me incredibly happy. And if that is not powerful, I don't know what is.

Unless I eat the cookies. Because Then I will have to worry about the gym.

Swaped!

2008-03-10T20:13:00.007-04:00

I was recently the happy recipient of a package from the Easter Swap hosted by GustoGirl. It was my first experience with interstate swappage and it was a ton of fun to shop, ship and then receive.

Here is a big fat thanks to Chris for her timely delivery of my Easter package. I was definitely spoiled!

Why Silence is Not Golden

2008-03-08T16:23:00.022-05:00

Do you have one of those kids? The kind that you hear screaming, banging, crashing, fighting, laughing, crying, falling......the kind that is so vocally and physically loud that you can identify his or her location from anywhere in the house at any time? I have one of those. And sometimes I wish that he would just pipe down and exist quietly for a while.

But then, frighteningly, he does. The house falls eerily silent - and I know I must quickly investigate, to see what this incredibly cacophonous child is up to - because assuredly, it will be something that is not good. It is at these times that I will find him eating cookies under his bed, squeezing an entire tube of toothpaste into the sink, using the toilet plunger in inappropriate ways, urinating in inappropriate places, etc, etc.

Silence, with this child, is most assuredly not golden. When I finally get him into bed each night, I feel like I need a good stiff drink. I don't actually know what a 'good stiff drink' is, as I do not imbibe - but if I did turn to the bottle, I could readily use this child as an nightly excuse for alcoholic consumption. If pharmacological solutions are necessary, I favor Tylenol with a Diet Coke chaser.

I have two other offspring that are habitually quiet. They are careful and deliberate...causing nary a worry.

However - this is why I can be blind sighted by their rare but creative antics. My oldest is one of these. She has grown out of most deviant behaviors - so I don't have to keep such a close eye on her. Silence, with her, is simply - silence. No checking, no worrying, no investigating. The days have long past of finding her rifling through my jewelry box to pocket her favorites, or snagging my wedding ring from whatever counter top I momentarily placed it on, and hiding it in one of her many bags and purses.

My youngest is not unlike his sister, usually playing quietly and independently. I have to remind myself to check on him where I more often than not discover that he is simply involved in his play things.

HOWEVER - I neglected to check on him the other day - and when he came downstairs, I could tell that something was amiss by the worried look on his face.

"I have a little scratch on my stomach," he said, "and I don't want you to see it but I really need a bath."

I agreed to the bath - wondering what was up, but I couldn't detect anything out of the ordinary. When we got to the bathroom, I filled the tub. He then asked me to leave - but I wasn't about to leave a 4 year old to his own devises in the bathroom. I asked him to get undressed but he stood still - evaluating me.

"Okay," he finally said, "but you are not going to like my scratches."

To conclude: Silence is golden, only at night when the kids are in bed. And by 'in bed' I mean dead asleep. For a child, simply laying in the dark does not qualify, There are too many potential trips to the potty, drinks for the thirsty, blankets or toys left in the basement, etc, etc, etc.

And I will leave to your imagination, the expansive and highly innappropriate artwork that is concealed beneath the spiderman underpants.

Madjalooked Me

2008-03-05T16:40:00.016-05:00

Z: (very tearful) 'A' madjalooked me!
Me: (very confused) What did she do?
Z: (crying) She madjalooked me!
Me: (trying really hard to decipher what he is saying) I don't know what that is.
Z: She pointed her finger at my shirt and said 'what's that' and when I looked she madjalooked me!"
Me: Oh....she made-you-look huh?
Z: (crying on my shoulder) I hate madjalook!

I thought that it was humorous that he was so upset over such a silly thing, but it was his interpretive vocabulary that really cracked me up. This small exchange got me to thining about 'N', who of all my kids, has had the most interesting linguistics. A few of my favorites from his vacabulary past are:

Kinky Toys (tinker toys)
Prey Goop (play group)
Jovest (Joseph)
Chapitch (ketchup)
KaChicken (ka-ching - his term for money)
Police Naughty Dog (Feliz Navidad)

I also have good memories of both 'N' & 'A' calling out: "I'm all alonely" whenever they found themselves alone in a room. (This was especially humorous because at the time, we lived in a 1200 square foot town house which kept us pretty cramped.)

With my first child, I tried my best to correct her language as she learned to speak. By my third round of parenting, I have been sad as he figures out, and then changes his idioms. He is my last child, and he is growing up - fast.

Sometimes when I look back at pictures from years earlier, when my kids were younger, it occurs to me that I probably missed out on enjoying a lot of different and wonderful 'little' things. This is largely due to the fact that It is very easy for me to get wrapped up in the trials and dramas of being of Mom. Perhaps having my first two children 13 months apart added to my inability to 'stop and smell the roses' back then as well.

I have been trying harder, as of late, to stop and enjoy my kids more - and worry less over the things that are not perfect. I am grateful to have been blessed with three insanely great kids. (Great being the first operative word and insane bringing up a close second!) This pic is my kids, 4 years ago. I miss their little selves!

My first tag!

2008-03-03T21:05:00.020-05:00

Now I get to be in on all of the fun-fun blogging games! I tweaked the content though. Thanks Becca!

A AUTHOR? JK Rowling/Stephenie Meyer
B BEVERAGE? Ice Water with Lemon
C COLOR? Hot Pink
D DOG OR CAT? Neither, offspring provide enough poop, vomit, messes, etc....
E ESSENTIAL ELECTRONIC? TIVO or I Phone
F FRUITS OR VEGGIES? Steamed fresh veggies with butter spray
G GAME? Pictionary, Scattergories, Wii Sports
H HOME STATE? Utah
I INDULGENCE? Dark Chocolate
J JANUARY OR JULY? July
K KIDS? 3
L LIFE AMBITION? Write a book/start a business
M MIDDLE NAME? Elizabeth
N NUMBER OF SIBLINGS? 3 Sisters, 1 brother - all awesome
O OCD TRAITS? I need things to be symmetrical
P PHOBIA OR FEAR? Claustrophobia (darn that Finding Nemo ride)
Q QUOTE? If the wind will not serve, take to the oars - Latin Proverb
R RETAIL ESTABLISHMENT? Nordstrom Rack
S SURGERY? Once - when I was 21 - 10 points to whomever can guess what it was
T TIME OF YEAR? Summer
U UNUSUAL SKILL? I can intentionally hyper-extend my knees. Not a skill, I know, but unusual.
V VEHICLE I DRIVE? Honda Pilot
W WORST HABIT? Too much night time TV when hub is out of town
X X-RAYS? 5 - hand,hand,hand,foot,foot
Y YEARS OLD? 34
Z ZODIAC? Capricorn

If you read this - you are tagged!

February In Review

2008-02-29T16:08:00.024-05:00

#1 & #2- N won the award for 'best workmanship' in the Pine Wood Derby. Perhaps we should mail his certificate to the company that pre-carved the car form and sold it at the craft store where I bought it! #3- I chopped my hair in a radical new do. Since moving here, I have learned that long, thin hair can be teased into looking good in Utah, but looks like junk when exposed to humidity. I progressively chopped 10 inches off over the last 6 months. Usually, when it is short I keep it in a clean bob, so this is a bit extreeme. I may have to go back to the salon and conservative-it-up. What do you think? #4- Our chocolate covered Strawberries from Valentines Day. #5-This is the magnet board that I made for a school fund-raiser for the elementary school. #6- We were treated to several ice storms. I now understand the severity of freezing rain and the subsequent foreclosure of schools based on the probability of said weather phenom.

February Quotes From My Kids:
N: Rules are dumb.
A: Could you be more suspific?
Z: If Dad is dead can we get a dog?
Z: I don't get it. Why do they call it a fur-og? There is no fur on it. Only green
Z: We like good boys and good skunks. The kind with out any stink in them.
A: I would give up my I-pod if we could move back to Utah.
N: I wish I was Davey Jones - just not so tentacally.

Assignment of Numerical Value

2008-02-26T08:30:00.009-05:00

For a long time, Z - who is 4 - had a favorite number. It was 1,038. I don't know how he came up with the numeral, but he frequently used it to quantify his feelings. For example. "I love you 1,038...I hate this 1,038...I want to do this 1,038"...etc. I found this expression hilarious and I was quite sad when recently he ditched it's use. However, he now has evoked greater creativity in his assignment of numerical value to different emotions. The following is an interview I conducted with him to illustrate his matmatical evaluation of personal feelings.

How much do you hate pickles?

459 a thousand and 30.

How much do you love ice cream?

459 a thousand and 78 and 9

How much do you like mustard?

How much do you hate mustard?

Maybe 459 and 7

How much to you love Disneyland?

Oh, I don't love it...they have stamps...well maybe.. I love it 78 and 459 and 80 thousand.

How much do you love thin mints?

That's a hard question. I am thinking...I am thinking...9 thousand and 66....and 459.

How much do you hate latin music? (Which he decided he greatly disliked after being exposed to it at a music kiosk thing at Target recently.)

479 and 58

How much do you like preschool?

Maybe 1 except when it is fun and I like it 1 thousand

How much do you like Scooby Do?

Oh! 459 and 78

How much do you like brocolli?

Oh, maybe 1

How much do you like salad?

How much do you hate salad?

Never-ending 4,000

How much do you love your mommy?

459 and 4,000 never-ending

Awww! To be loved 459 and 4,000 never-ending makes my day!