Monday, October 27, 2008

The Basics of A Political Rally

Today The Hub, Z, and I went to a Road To Victory Rally in Leesburg which Sarah Palin attended. After asking a few questions, Z had this insight:

Z: Mom - why do all these people like John McCain?
Me: Because there are a lot of problems in our country and these people think that John McCain can solve some of them.
Z: These guys want John McCain to fix their problems?
Me: Yep

About 30 minutes later on the lengthy walk to the car...........

Z: Maybe John McCain can help me get to the car faster. And maybe he can help me find a bathroom.

And so - if you did not already know - though I have many issues with the Republican party, I support McCain and Palin. To sum up my political feelings in an overly simple way- some citizens truly need government assistance. Most people in the U.S. however, need to take responsibility for themselves and not expect the government to bail them out of situations that have been caused by personal greed and irresponsibility. No one is entitled to be given anything that someone else has earned. The government is a hugely inefficient and corrupt system and I will not ever vote to make it larger or to give it more money. They mess enough things up as it is.

If only our problems could be solved with some directions to the bathroom! (Which I am sure John McCain knows something about, as his age would require him to visit one more frequently.)

(Come on my democratic friends - time for a friendly debate!)

Friday, October 17, 2008

Before Begetting...

Before begetting any babies, I possessed a slightly unimaginative ideology. I expressed this philosophy during high school (sadly), and through out college (pathetically), through actions later attributed to an un-diagnosed case of 'lack of motivation-itis'. Looking back, I still find it difficult to tolerate my own stolid past self. Meandering through life, apathetically allowing things to occur rather than making them happen, I was unassertive, unresisting, and uninvolved in my oh-so-very hands off approach to living.

If I received a B or even a C on a test or final grade? Oh well. My slackers path was easier. Never mind the fact that top scores were well within my range of capability. If I would have cared to put a fraction more than perfunctory effort into studying.

Though caring little for my responsibilities at Dan’s grocery store, I maintained my position at the customer service desk from ages sixteen through twenty-two? Oh well. Never mind. The store was close, convenient. Easier.

My parents had been frustratingly aware of my indifferent, supine philosophy which is why they were dismayed, but not surprised, by my decision to pursue a degree in Human Development and Family Studies from the University of Utah. My Dad asked (with a snort) "What are you going to do after graduation? Develop some humans?” To which I attitutinally replied: "Yep."

I started on the road to doing just that when I met the Hub during my junior year. Our first date was in June. We were engaged by October.

"Marriage is a big responsibility” my mom counseled. “You will have have to go grocery shopping, clean your house, pay bills.....”

“I know,” I interrupted with an imbecilic reply. “It sounds like a lot of fun really!” Dreamily, I smiled to my self in anticipation of the fun-for-all forthcoming financial obligations. Mom looked at me with raised eyebrows that clearly said ‘you are an idiot’. But what did she know? My own bills. Mailed to my own house. Yippee.

The Hub and I married the following March, nine months after our first date.

Upon graduating, right after the first anniversary of our marriage, I began to consider, for the first time, my degree of suitability for a career. As I searched the want ad’s in the Sunday paper it occurred to me, somewhat belatedly, that simply possessing my special degree from an accredited university was not the only prerequisite for landing a great job.

I handled the slightly more bitter disappointment it in the same stoically dispassionate way that I had responded to every other unplanned event in my life, (Oh well...nevermind) which is how I came to be a receptionist for a marketing firm downtown. The job was slow. And dull. And so, from lack of prerequisite, or perceived ability to do anything else, hatched from boredom was my decision to convince the Hub that it was time for us to have a baby.

My short lived ‘career’? Oh well. Never mind. This would be easier.

It turned out that my Dad was prophetic - after graduation I developed some humans.

Over one decade later, I have nothing but fantabulous things to say about my 3 offspring (most of the time anyway) - my three kids are awe inspiring and absolutely awesome. I am phenomenally grateful to have been blessed with them.

But hopefully the Hub has donated the right mix of DNA - I don't want to pass on the dreaded 'lack of motivation-itis'!

Sunday, October 5, 2008

From Cookies To Vegetables

Z: (bites the head off of his ghost) This is a headless ghost! (takes another strategic bite)
N: Now it is a bum-less ghost! And a crotch-less ghost!
Z: Yeah! He will never be able to go to the bathroom!
N: Oh yeah! Let's name him Elvis because Elvis couldn't go to the bathroom either!
Z: Yeah! Elvis has no bum! Who is Elvis?
N: This singer man who took lots of drugs and couldn't poop and he died on the toilet just trying and trying.
Z: Maybe he should have had some poop pills. Like Dad.
N: If I was Elvis I would eat more vegetables. Lots and lots so I could poop.
Z: Me too. I would sit at the table when I was done singing and eat lots lots of broccoli but only if there was lots of butter.
N: Maybe we need to eat more vegetables......

Who knew that the gratuitous bestowal of Halloween cookies upon my offspring would result is such a thought provoking conversation betwixt 2 brothers. The next time I am tempted to quash the potty talk I will remember that perhaps a valuable lesson can be learned if I allow the less-than-tasteful conversation to play out!

Saturday, October 4, 2008

I am sick, sick, sick!

I was recently diagnosed with a sickness called HELIUM HAND (also known as Compulsive Volunteerism). This is a serious condition in which the affected individual can not help but to raise her hand to proffer service whenever it is requested. Really, there is no mental control over the Helium Hand - it simply rises in the air when anyone is in need of anything. In fact, as the Helium Hand rises, it takes control of the brain, making it's clueless possessor forget all of the other things that they have volunteered to do. My symptoms of this sickness are as follows:

-Chairperson of the PTA Reflections Committee
-Script Writer for the Elementary School Morning News Broadcast
-Chairperson of the afterschool Craft Club
-Girl Scout Cookie co-chairperson
-Den Mother of Bear/Wolf troop
-Assistant coach to my daughters soccer team 'The Tornados'
-Assistant coach to my son's soccer team 'The Lynx'

A good friend recently conducted an intervention in my behalf. She has offered to be my sponser and I have committed to a 12 step program. The first step is to admit that I suffer from Helium Hand, and that I need help. My sponser is in recovery herself and told me that being in an elementary school, at a church, or on an athletic field is the equivalent to an alcoholic being in a bar, however, she assures me that HH can be a managable disorder

I am currently being coached at saying "No..." but I can tell it is going to be a long and difficult process.

I am off to bed now - I need my sleep because as Assistant Coach to the soccer team, it is my duty to take charge when THE Coach is out of town. Which is the case tomorow.

Wish me luck - and don't ask me to do anything!