A Conversation With My Kids At The Local Target

N: You know that disgusting thing that people do to make babies?
Me: (glancing around to see if anyone overheard) Ummmmm - yes??????
N: I hate that. Especially the part about the shower.
Me: What part about the shower?
N: You know - the disgusting part.
Me: Um - I think that you might be a little bit confused. Let's talk about this when we get home - okay?
N: I am not confused! I just hate the part about the shower!
A: You are confused! You don't do it in a shower. You do it on a bed!
Me: Okay - let's keep our voices down and discuss this at home okay?
N: Fine but I will still hate the shower part. You know. When you get naked and take a baby shower.


Parental Note: Confusion was cleared up at home - where patrons of Target were no longer within hearing distance.

Happy Birthday Sista!

Yesterday was my little sister's B-Day. Can I simply say that she is one of my very best friends and likely one of the most fantabulous people on the planet? She is a stellar example of how to live life with energy - the girl knows how to have fun. She is a terrific Mom and a wonderful human being. The world is truly a better place because she is in it. I can't express in words how much I love spending time with her. In my dream life we would live next door to each other and have a grown-up girl sleepover at least once a month! Thanks B - for being a great example to me! Love You!

*Do I earn any points for having neglected a b-day phone call with this extra special blog entry?

Sha-Na-Na-Na

Sha-Na-Na-Na
Hey-Hey-Hey
GOODBYE!!

I am normally not one to post pictures of myself, but I have to share.

This is me 'BEFORE'. Note the teeth.

A large gap, as shown here is known as a DIASTEMA. This has been my dental cross to bear for the past 34 years. Admittedly, I was not overly burdened by this cosmetic issue until my later years - when I became more vain.

Below you see me 'AFTER'. (In addition to admiring my new smile, please note the fab strand of ginormous pearls that the Hub just gave to lucky me - he hand selected them on his recent trip to China.)

So - good luck to these 2 offspring! I suppose that we will have to budget in some $$$$ for the issues that I have likely created for them and their developing ego's!

Homicidal Heritage

Whilst enjoying the final week of our vacation at my parents cabin in Big Cottonwood Canyon the following conversation took place between 'N' and my Mom.  

N: Have you ever been fishing Grandma?

G:  A few times.

N: Did you ever take kids fishing?

G: Oh!  One time I was camping with Heather and some of her friends and we were by a stream when a big truck pulled up and dumped a TON of fish into the water.  Then the truck drove off and we didn't have any fishing poles so Heather jumped into the water and started grabbing the fish with her hands and throwing them up on the bank of the river so I grabbed a big rock and started hitting them on the head with the rock to kill them!

N: (in horror) You killed the girls?!?

G: (confused) I didn't know if they were boy fish or girl fish.....

N: (in a scared whisper) You killed the campers?

Did I mention that 'N' disables his listening skills when the answers to his question are longer than one or two words?

Did I mention that my Mom's exploits are just as hilarious as 'N's?