Before Begetting...

Before begetting any babies, I possessed a slightly unimaginative ideology. I expressed this philosophy during high school (sadly), and through out college (pathetically), through actions later attributed to an un-diagnosed case of 'lack of motivation-itis'. Looking back, I still find it difficult to tolerate my own stolid past self. Meandering through life, apathetically allowing things to occur rather than making them happen, I was unassertive, unresisting, and uninvolved in my oh-so-very hands off approach to living.

If I received a B or even a C on a test or final grade? Oh well. My slackers path was easier. Never mind the fact that top scores were well within my range of capability. If I would have cared to put a fraction more than perfunctory effort into studying.

Though caring little for my responsibilities at Dan’s grocery store, I maintained my position at the customer service desk from ages sixteen through twenty-two? Oh well. Never mind. The store was close, convenient. Easier.

My parents had been frustratingly aware of my indifferent, supine philosophy which is why they were dismayed, but not surprised, by my decision to pursue a degree in Human Development and Family Studies from the University of Utah. My Dad asked (with a snort) "What are you going to do after graduation? Develop some humans?” To which I attitutinally replied: "Yep."

I started on the road to doing just that when I met the Hub during my junior year. Our first date was in June. We were engaged by October.

"Marriage is a big responsibility” my mom counseled. “You will have have to go grocery shopping, clean your house, pay bills.....”

“I know,” I interrupted with an imbecilic reply. “It sounds like a lot of fun really!” Dreamily, I smiled to my self in anticipation of the fun-for-all forthcoming financial obligations. Mom looked at me with raised eyebrows that clearly said ‘you are an idiot’. But what did she know? My own bills. Mailed to my own house. Yippee.

The Hub and I married the following March, nine months after our first date.

Upon graduating, right after the first anniversary of our marriage, I began to consider, for the first time, my degree of suitability for a career. As I searched the want ad’s in the Sunday paper it occurred to me, somewhat belatedly, that simply possessing my special degree from an accredited university was not the only prerequisite for landing a great job.

I handled the slightly more bitter disappointment it in the same stoically dispassionate way that I had responded to every other unplanned event in my life, (Oh well...nevermind) which is how I came to be a receptionist for a marketing firm downtown. The job was slow. And dull. And so, from lack of prerequisite, or perceived ability to do anything else, hatched from boredom was my decision to convince the Hub that it was time for us to have a baby.

My short lived ‘career’? Oh well. Never mind. This would be easier.

It turned out that my Dad was prophetic - after graduation I developed some humans.

Over one decade later, I have nothing but fantabulous things to say about my 3 offspring (most of the time anyway) - my three kids are awe inspiring and absolutely awesome. I am phenomenally grateful to have been blessed with them.

But hopefully the Hub has donated the right mix of DNA - I don't want to pass on the dreaded 'lack of motivation-itis'!