Wednesday, April 23, 2008

My New Theme Song


Otherwise known as the dieter's anthem:

*note: for musical accompaniment select Gloria Gaynor's 'I Will Survive' from my playlist on the bottom right!

First I was afraid
I was petrified (of the upcoming bathing suit season)
Kept thinking I could never live
Without you by my side (chocolate)
But then I spent so many nights (and days)
Thinking how you did me wrong (inner thighs, belly, etc..)
And I grew strong
And I learned how to get along
And so you're back (because the neighbor brought over cookies)
From outer space
I just walked in to find you here (in my kitchen because I was saving you for kids)
With that sad look upon (my) face
I should have changed that stupid lock (bad neighbor!)
I should have made you leave your key (okay, good neighbor - bad cookies)
If I had known for just one second
You'd be back to bother me
Go on now go
Walk out the door (in the trash bag that I threw you in - the kids won't know)
Just turn around now
'Cause you're not welcome anymore
Weren't you the one
Who tried to hurt me with goodbye
You'd think I'd crumble (like one of those gooey chocolate chip cookies)
You'd think I'd lay down and die
Oh no, not I
I will survive
As long as I know how to love (eating those vegetables)
I know I'll feel alive
I've got all my life to live 
I've got all my love to give (to health/weight conscious choices)
And I'll survive
I will survive
HEY HEY
It took all the strength I had 
Not to fall apart (on the stair master at the gym)
Kept trying hard to mend
The pieces of my broken heart (and those inner thighs, belly, etc..)
And I spent oh so many nights (and days)
Just feeling sorry for myself
I used to cry
But now I hold my head up high (even though I go to the gym with no make-up and a bandana to hide my bed head)
And you see me
Somebody new
I'm not that chained up little (or average sized) person
Still in love with you (really I still am)
And so you felt like dropping in (remember, good neighbor - bad cookies)
And just expect me to be free
Now I'm saving all my loving
For someone who's loving me (carrots - sigh....)
GO ON NOW GO  
Walk out the door
Just turn around now
'Cause you're not welcome anymore 
Weren't you the one
Who tried to break me with goodbye
You'd think I'd crumble (and get the cookies out of the trash - which I considered - instead of going to the gym)
You think I'd lay down and die (on the third rep of overhead lifts)
Oh not, not I
I will survive
As long as I know how to love (the benefits of working out)
I know I'll feel alive
I've got all my life to live (and build up more that child-like muscle endurance)
I've got all my love to give (to a new pair of skinny pants -which I will buy as soon as they fit)
And I'll survive
I will survive

8 comments:

Becca said...

That made me laugh out loud. I'm right there with you sister--I've even gone so far as to remove the cookies from the trash--at least they were in a plastic bag:-)

Kristy said...

HAHA! Apparently we are all feeling the same way about ourselves!

Mary Kim said...

Hey! I was tickled that you found my blog. I have heard rumors about your great blog and now I can witness it first hand. Yea! Funny song. I think you could label this the Universal Womens
Theme song.

Gustogirl said...

Be strong. The trash usually is the best place to put those sweets that you don't want, but you know you would enjoy!

Janice said...

LOL- that was cute

Lily said...

I might have to play that all day in my car, at home at the gym. Do you think it will work for me too?

Chris said...

oops that was me.

shauna said...

Another song to add to my list of theme songs... (I'll have to try exercising to it with this new "understanding" of its meaning).