A Conversation With My Kids At The Local Target

N: You know that disgusting thing that people do to make babies?
Me: (glancing around to see if anyone overheard) Ummmmm - yes??????
N: I hate that. Especially the part about the shower.
Me: What part about the shower?
N: You know - the disgusting part.
Me: Um - I think that you might be a little bit confused. Let's talk about this when we get home - okay?
N: I am not confused! I just hate the part about the shower!
A: You are confused! You don't do it in a shower. You do it on a bed!
Me: Okay - let's keep our voices down and discuss this at home okay?
N: Fine but I will still hate the shower part. You know. When you get naked and take a baby shower.


Parental Note: Confusion was cleared up at home - where patrons of Target were no longer within hearing distance.

Happy Birthday Sista!

Yesterday was my little sister's B-Day. Can I simply say that she is one of my very best friends and likely one of the most fantabulous people on the planet? She is a stellar example of how to live life with energy - the girl knows how to have fun. She is a terrific Mom and a wonderful human being. The world is truly a better place because she is in it. I can't express in words how much I love spending time with her. In my dream life we would live next door to each other and have a grown-up girl sleepover at least once a month! Thanks B - for being a great example to me! Love You!

*Do I earn any points for having neglected a b-day phone call with this extra special blog entry?

Sha-Na-Na-Na

Sha-Na-Na-Na
Hey-Hey-Hey
GOODBYE!!

I am normally not one to post pictures of myself, but I have to share.

This is me 'BEFORE'. Note the teeth.

A large gap, as shown here is known as a DIASTEMA. This has been my dental cross to bear for the past 34 years. Admittedly, I was not overly burdened by this cosmetic issue until my later years - when I became more vain.

Below you see me 'AFTER'. (In addition to admiring my new smile, please note the fab strand of ginormous pearls that the Hub just gave to lucky me - he hand selected them on his recent trip to China.)

So - good luck to these 2 offspring! I suppose that we will have to budget in some $$$$ for the issues that I have likely created for them and their developing ego's!

Homicidal Heritage

Whilst enjoying the final week of our vacation at my parents cabin in Big Cottonwood Canyon the following conversation took place between 'N' and my Mom.  

N: Have you ever been fishing Grandma?

G:  A few times.

N: Did you ever take kids fishing?

G: Oh!  One time I was camping with Heather and some of her friends and we were by a stream when a big truck pulled up and dumped a TON of fish into the water.  Then the truck drove off and we didn't have any fishing poles so Heather jumped into the water and started grabbing the fish with her hands and throwing them up on the bank of the river so I grabbed a big rock and started hitting them on the head with the rock to kill them!

N: (in horror) You killed the girls?!?

G: (confused) I didn't know if they were boy fish or girl fish.....

N: (in a scared whisper) You killed the campers?

Did I mention that 'N' disables his listening skills when the answers to his question are longer than one or two words?

Did I mention that my Mom's exploits are just as hilarious as 'N's?

To answer several questions...

WHERE CAN I TURN FOR PEACE?
To my in-laws who took my children for three days.

WHERE IS MY SOLACE?
Swinging in a hammock chair at dusk in my parents back yard.

The H is in Portugal (work), I just dropped the kids off in Heber, I still have two and a half more weeks of vacation...AAAHHHH!

Phases of a Vacation

1. I wanted to add some info on the aforementioned camping trip, which to quote my sister Becca was actually more akin to 'staying outdoors in small quarters' than actual camping. My in laws love to recreate, they love to take road trips but they also love creature comforts. So our camping trip was made possible by their two trailers, one of which was a pop out variety complete with a sofa, two recliners, closets, and a kitchen table (in the fully functioning kitchen)! In fact, the trailer was so nice that we were required to remove our shoes upon entry. We were also equipped with bathrooms (including showers) in each trailer, and to top it all off - a satellite dish. It was defiantly my kind of camping! Thanks Phil and Judy!

2. Matt and I spent a day and a night at a great resort in Midway, Utah called the Zermatt. It was FABULOUS! Great restaurants, fabulous pool, beautiful grounds.....and no kids!

3. After the camping, we spent 2 days with our good friends, Jim and Reina Detjen who are always generous and welcoming when we come into town. They are also connoisseurs of fine food, which the provide daily. Thanks guys!

4. CALIFORNIA! After living in So Cal from 2000-2004 I am a beach junkie. I love the ocean, the sun and the sand. I love that my kids can entertain them selves all day without any sort of electronics. I love exploring tide pools and helping my kids search for shells. I love playing in the ocean and ducking the waves. I love that my kids are old enough that I can read a book while catching some rays. I love the beach! I will have to make a trip to the Atlantic when we get back to VA in August. Any takers on a day trip?

5. St. George was a convenient stop on the way back from CA. My parents have a house there so my and my sister Becca partied there for a few days. And by party I mean that we entertained my three, and her four kids. It was WAY too hot to do anything besides go to the pool. But we did manage to squeeze in a musical at Tuachan, an outdoor theater in the canyon (The Sound Of Music - or as 'Z' calls it: Musical Sounds), and to take the kids on a few rides on an old tandem bike. Becca and I also made a midnight run to the local grocery store on said bicicyle to purchase some -ahem - feminine products.

Now we are back at my parents house, near Hogle Zoo and the University of Utah, and what will we do for the rest of our vacation? Swim in their pool, stay a few nights at the cabin in Brighton Canyon, swim, shop the Foothill Village 24th of July sidewalk sale, swim..............I'll try not to get tired of this vacation thing!

WHAT THE KIDS ARE SAYING:
(There was a debate between my boys over the appropriate titles for the 'ladies dressed in black' in the Sound of Music. 'Z' claimed that they were called Num's, and 'N' argued that they were called Nim's)
"When are the Nazi's going to get here!" (Said by 'N' in frustration over another love song in the musical)

Least We Travel Without Drama....

As we packed to leave - I neglected to remember the 'no liquids on airplanes' rules. So - when the kids asked if they could fill their brand-spanking-new water bottles for the trip I acquiesced. Consequently, as we went through airport security I was told to throw the three water bottles away as there was no way to simply dispose of the liquid. My kids were audibly distraught over loosing their newly acquired water bottles with a handy-dandy freezable core, so.....I chug-a-lugged 24 ounces of water to get us through security.

After the water debacle, 'N' started complaining that his shorts were too tight. When I investigated the cause we came to discover that this size 8-9 boy was wearing his brother's size 4 shorts. (Adding to the problem was the fact that I had taken the shorts in by about three inches to fit skinny little 'Z'!)

'N' then started complaining that his carry-on backpack was WAY too heavy. Upon this investigation I discovered that he had packed nothing but hardcover books!

**Fast forward a few days where we found ourselves visiting my sister in Logan, UT. We decided to take a tubing trip down the canal adjacent to the Logan River. Lest you think that this would be cool refreshment on a hot day, bear in mind that the river and canal are running with recently melted snow, making the water temperature numbingly cold.

We started the trip with 4 adults: (Me, Mom, Heather (my sister), and Jenny (sister's room-mate) and the three kids. We purchased 5 tubes for the trip, placing two kids in a tube with two adults. Whilst floating down the frigid canal, 'N' (in his own tube) did his best to keep all of his body parts out of the H20. If you are familiar with 'the plank' (a strength building technique for the core) you can imagine what 'N' looked like atop his tube. It came as no surprise that as he was attempting to change positions, he fell into the canal, causing us much merriment, which we tried to ebb as he had cut his knee on a rock. Shortly thereafter, his tube popped and he went into the canal again. (And we did our best to hide our amusement!)

THEN - Heather's tube popped, Jenny and 'A's tube popped, and the three of them had to bush whack down the mountain and scale a fence to get back to the parking lot. The rest of us: Mom with 'N' and me with 'Z', made it to the end with 'Z' (who was in mortal fear of more tube pop-age) fretting the entire way.

Fast forward a few more days: we just returned from a camping trip to Daniel's Summit - above the Heber Valley. Other than a few issues with fire safety, and several insanely large insect bites we are unscathed!