Tuesday, February 19, 2008

The Most Disgusting Thing Ever


Nothing tops a long hard day of Mommy-ing like vomit ALL OVER the kitchen table. In the middle of dinner.

And this is what happened.

I will openly admit that I intentionally included red peppers in our chicken and pasta dish. I added them at the last minute, so that the flavor would not infuse with the cream sauce.

In retrospect, I should have just used them as a garnish for those adults who wished to partake, but alas, I did not.

I told all of the kids to simply place the offensive vegetable to the side of their plate and not bother with them any further. However, 'A' (my oldest) came up with a fateful plan. She asked for some dessert, in exchange for her consumption of red peppers.

I agreed to the deal.

She nervously ate them, claimed with relief that they weren't too bad, so I told her she could have an ice cream bar. 'Z' (my youngest) asked if he could have a bar if he just ate one pepper. Though 'A' thought he should have to digest all peppers on his plate, I agreed to his terms. He ate one bite, earning his ice cream.

Then 'N' (the middle child) decided that he did not want to be left out of delicious dessert-ing, so he opened wide to eat his one bite. No more than 30 seconds lapsed before he vomited - the entire contents of his stomach - on to the kitchen table, completely filling his own plate and liberally splattering everyone else's . He then angrily bawled "that was the most disgusting thing I ever put in my mouth".

Apparently he does not care for red peppers.

The weird thing is, and I quote, "the most disgusting ever"?

I am talking about the kid who one day in church was licking the bottom of his shoe.
The same kid who tasted his own ear wax to see if it was a similar flavor to snot.
This child has scraped ABC gum off of a metal railing - with his teeth.
I have dragged him, as he kicked and screamed, from where he was sampling a pile of cotton candy that was on the ground. It looked as though the sugary treat had been there for some time as it had been melted by the sun. And driven over multiple times.

But a quarter inch square piece of red pepper?

Yeah, THAT is disgusting.

He did not get dessert.

And I cleaned the table.

7 comments:

Kristy said...

Oh my gosh. He really has the most sensitive stomach...but its sensitive to REAL food. Go figure. That is so funny!!!

Chris said...

Wow, can not believe a small pepper would do that, with the list of other contents he has ingested. :-) Sounds like a fun eve.

shauna said...

My daughter did the same thing last week when I told her she had to eat a bite of corn to earn a bowl of ice cream. It's that silly gag reflect--I'm certain it's psycho-sematic (is that how you spell that word) triggered by what they believe to be unbearably disgusting. In my daughter's case that disgusting threshold is pretty low. *sigh* She didn't get any ice cream either. :)

Janice said...

Funny how they can turn on the gag reflex just like that. My kids are picky eaters, I have decided it is not worth the fight, but they know if they don't eat what I make, no snacks and no dessert.

Becca said...

That was so funny that you made me cry! I read it two times and still couldn't stop laughing out loud. Craig even heard how loud I was laughing and got up to check it out too--which I will say is quite feat--you actually pulled Craig away from the computer--CONGRATULATIONS!!!
Also, we recently had a very similar situation. We had ordered Papa John's pizza and offered our children a small cash incentive if they would try the peppers that came with the pizza. Andrew was brave enough to try and within 30 seconds he also emptied the whole contents of his stomach on our kitchen table. I cleaned the table. We doubled the cash incentive.

Tonks Family said...

Laughing so hard I am crying. You make my day! Anytime I need a pick-me-up, you are always there with your funny, funny tales.

TexasTwinsTwice said...

Hi--Becca is my aunt by marriage on Craig's side (haha!) and just wanted to say you're a trooper of a mom for having to deal with that! =)